If I were a Smasher
by Matt's-Awesome-Too
Summary: As the title suggest, this is what would happen if I were a Smasher. Complete! Also, there is a SonicXTails shipping that starts in Ch.9. I like pie! Meeps!
1. Day 1

Matt here: I finally got my good old dividing line to work! Yay! I'm sorry for people who wanted me to write a sequel to my Pokemon fic next, but this idea just jumped into my head and I followed it.

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!

Matt was riding a bus through a desert in the middle of the night. He was the only one on the bus, because all the other passengers had gotten off a Vegas. Matt was fingering a card he had gotten in the mail that morning. He read it aloud.

Matt: Potato.

That didn't make much sense, but the Smash League had called him later and said they wanted him for the next Super Smash Person Tournament. They had to replace th "Bros." part because Samus, Peach, and Zelda had complained the last time.

Matt: I gonna be a Smasher! Fuck ya! Great food, get to sleep in a big mansion, fighting almost daily! This is gonna be the sweet life!

The bus suddenly stopped, slamming Matt into the front window.

Bus Driver: You sure this is your stop?

Matt, looking at his notepad: Is the address 1249 Middle of Fucking Nowhere?

Bus Driver: Yep.

Matt, getting off the bus: See ya!

Bus Driver: Good Luck.

Matt waved at the bus as it drove away.

Matt: This is gonna ro...

Matt then turned around, seeing nothing but three cardboard boxes.

Matt, looking at his notepad: Did I write down the right address?

Matt then noticed that one of the cardboard boxes had "Matt" written on it in permanent marker.

Matt: Shit.

Matt looked inside the box, there was an old pillow, a worn out blanket, and a letter.

The Letter: "Dear Contestant, I blew the budget for this years Smash tournament on booze and hookers, so I couldn't get the fancy mansion or any big name characters, so there will be a lot of new faces this year. I also couldn't afford a good announcer, so I got Adam Sesler and a lemon. I will meet you three at breakfast tomorrow. Sincerely, Master Hand."

Matt: God damn mother fucker!

Matt then climbed into his cardboard box and fell asleep.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow will be interesting.

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How'd you like it? Review and tell me, or tell me how pissed off I didn't write my pokemon sequel. REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	2. Day 2

Matt here: I'm planning on a sequal to Pokemon, just not until this one is done. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Bill!

The sun rose over the desert, waking up Matt.

Matt: Time for some Smashing!

Matt then noticed a table in the middle of the cardboard boxes. He went and sat down.

Matt: I wonder what's for breakfast?

Megaman: Ramen.

Matt: Eh, it's ok. Who's the other Smasher?

Megaman: Mario.

Matt: What? I thought he couldn't get any professional Smashers?

Megaman: Well, Mario blew all his money on crack, so he was desperate for cash.

Matt: Oh.

Mario: What-a the hell are you-a guys a talking about?

Matt: Your crack addiction.

Mario: Well a-fuck you!

Three bowls of ramen appeared in front of the Smashers.

Smashers: SWEET!

All three Smashers ate it really fast. Master Hand then appeared out of thin air.

Master Hand: Welcome Smashers! I am Master Hand!

Matt: Oh, I never would have got that from you being a giant hand.

Matt was then turned into a monkey.

Master Hand: Are you going to do that again?

Matt shrugged his shoulders.

Master Hand: Close enough.

Master Hand turned Matt back into a human.

Master Hand: Now, You will all fight one match a day, if there is an odd number I'll fight one of you.

Matt: You know god damn well that there's a fucking odd number!

Master Hand: Anyway, once we get enough matches then we can air them, get a bigger budget, and be able to afford an actual building, and some other fighters beside you desperate losers.

Mario: I take offense to-a that!

Master Hand: Shut the mother fucking hell up, or you don't get you fucking pay check!

Mario: Yes-a, Master.

Master Hand: Any questions?

Megaman: Only one, WHO'S FUCKING IDEA WAS IT TO HAVE ALL THE STARTING CHARACTERS'S NAMES BEGIN WITH "M"?

Master Hand: Uh, LET THE MATCHES BEGIN!

Mario and Megaman were teleported away.

Matt: SWEET! I get to fight you!

Master Hand: Yeah, yeah.

Matt was teleported to a platform floating in the air.

Matt: This arena sucks!

Master Hand: Budget Cut.

Adam Sesler: This is a great day for a match today, isn't it lemon?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Your so funny lemon, UNLIKE MY OLD CO-HOST!

Lemon:...

Adam Sesler: I'm sorry for yelling at you lemon. Let the match begin!

Master Hand shot lasers out of his fingers, which Matt easily dodged.

Master Hand: I see you're a worthy opponent.

Matt, taking out his two katanas: No, your attacks just suck!

Matt then ran and sliced off Master Hand's glove.

Master Hand: AH! I'm naked!

Master Hand then ran away.

Adam Sesler: And the winner is...

Lemon:...

Adam Sesler: That's right Matt!

Matt was then teleported back to the Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Hey, which one of you guys won?

Mario: I-a did!

Matt: How?

Megaman: There was no arena, and since I'm heavier I fell faster!

Matt: That's not how physics wor..

Megaman: Shut the fuck up!

Master Hand then appeared.

Master Hand: I've got good news!

Smashers: WHAT?

Master Hand: I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geiko!

Matt: GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER!

Master Hand: No, it's a good thing by selling out to Geiko, we've got enough money to get an actual building! All we gotta do is to unlock the newcomer tomorrow and we don't have to sleep in cardboard boxes anymore!

Megaman: WE! YOU SLEEP IN YOUR HOUSE! IN A BIG COUSSY BED!

Master Hand: Uh, I think I left the cat on fire.

Master Hand then disappeared.

Megaman: God fucking damn it!

Matt: Well, time for bed.

With that everyone went to their cardboard boxes. Matt soon fell asleep.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow will be interesting.

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Nothing much to say but, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	3. Day 3

Matt here: Nothing much to say.

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Gates!

The sun rose up over the desert landscape, which awoke Matt.

Matt: Awesome! No more sleeping in a cardboard box!

Everyone went to the table.

Mario: Ok, who's-a gonna be the guy to fight-a the new guy?

Megaman: Let's play Rock, Paper, Scissors!

Matt: Ok!

Smashers: Rock, Paper Scissors, SHOOT!

Megaman then accidently shot Mario with his arm cannon, knocking him out.

Megaman: Damn! I forgot I could only use rock!

Matt: Haha! Scissors slice through rock! I win!

Megaman: God Mother Fucking Damn It!

Master Hand, appearing out of nowhere: Good, it's time for your match!

Matt was then teleported to the platform floating in space.

Adam Sesler: It's a great day for a match, isn't it lemon?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: I couldn't agree more! No let's see our Smashers!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: That's not appropriate to air on tv!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Apology excepted. Now, on the left we have Matt, an original Smasher, wanting to win this match so he doesn't have to sleep in a box, and on the right, we have a pro Smasher who was the only one who would consider fighting for nothing, everyone's favorite electric-type pokemon, Pi...chu!

Crowd: God damn it!

Matt: This is the pro Smasher? He sucks!

Pichu: Pi, pi, chu!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: That Pichu is ready to fight!

Pichu: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii...

Adam Sesler: It looks like he's charging up for an electric attack. What was it called again?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: That's right, Thunder. Thank you Lemon!

Pichu: CHU!

A lightning bolt then struck Pichu, knocking him out instantly.

Matt: I didn't even fucking move!

Adam Sesler: And the winner is,... Matt!

Lemon: ...

Matt was then teleported back to the Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Holy fuck!

The three cardboard boxes had been replaced with a one room shed, with orange crates to sleep in.

Matt: Awesome!

Mario, ice-pack on his head: Who did-a you get-a?

Matt: An electric type pokemon, Pi...

The other two looked extremely happy, waiting to hear the rest.

Matt: ...chu.

Mario and Megaman: God damn it!

With that everyone went to sleep.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow will be interesting.

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REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	4. Day 4

Matt here: Nothing much to say, but Enjoy.

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Nintendo!

An alarm went off.

Megaman: IT'S A RAID!

Megaman then shot the alarm clock with his arm cannon.

Pichu: Piiichu!

Pichu then shocked Megaman.

Megaman: Why the hell did you do that?

Pichu: Pi, pi, chu!

Mario: What-a the hell?

Pichu: Pi,...Pi,...Chu.

Matt: Uh, we don't have a bathroom, we've just been using that hole outside.

Pichu, leaving the shed: Pichu!

Matt: Your welcome, I guess.

Mario: I-a might not-a have breakfast today-a, I can't take-a anymore ramen.

They all walked over to the table. And there were three small egg plates.

Matt: Finally! American food!

All three of them chowed down, Pichu ate his after he was done taking his shit.

Master Hand, appearing out of thin air: Time for your matches! I got another ring, so we can have two matches today! It's gonna be Matt V.S. Mario and Megaman V.S. Pichu!

All the fighters were teleported to their separate arenas.

Matt: This is gonna be hard.

The arena Matt and Mario had been teleported to was an 8-bit Mario stage.

Mario: It's-a my home turf-a! Another win-a for Mario!

Adam Sesler: This is the first match both for the arena and Mario against Matt.

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: NO WAY! Matt is going down! It's Mario's home turf!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: That was not called for! I'm not talking to you anymore!

Lemon: ...

Then the match began. Matt drew his katana and Mario threw a hell of a lot of fireballs. Matt dodged them by jumping, it's not that hard.

Matt, pointing toward the castle: Is that Peach taking a shower?

Mario, pushing Matt out of the way: Where-a? I can't-a see!

Matt: Move a little to the left, a little more, a little more, perfect!

Mario: I don't see anythin...

Mario looked down.

Mario: Ah shit!

Mario then fell down the pit.

Adam Sesler: FUCK! I lost 50 Smash Coins!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: I fucking hate you, Lemon!

Lemon: ...

Matt was then teleported back to th Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Megaman, crying: How the hell did I lose to Pichu?

Pichu: PICHU!

Matt: I'm going to bed.

Matt soon fell asleep in his orange crate.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

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REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	5. Day 5

Matt here: Nothing much to say. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Pat!

The alarm went off.

Mario: It's a raid-a!

Mario then shot a fireball at the clock, blowing it up.

Matt: Why the fuck did you do that?

Mario: Because,... FUCK-A YOU-A!

Everyone went to the breakfast table and ate.

Megaman: This beats the fuck out of ramen!

Pichu: Pi-chu!

Master Hand: We got another fighter who will fight for free!

Smashers: Eh.

Master Hand: Winner gets a steak for dinner.

Smashers: We would have settled for dinner in general!

Matt: Look! A Hardees!

The other three smashers immediately vomited.

Matt: I will. The others are to sick to fight!

Master Hand: Whatever.

Matt was then teleported to Final Destination.

Matt: Who am I fighting,... Ah shit!

Adam Sesler: It looks like a fight between crowd favorite Matt, and newcomer Mooreluv2006.

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Take that back about my mother!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler, crying: Lemons can be so cruel!

Matt, taking out his katana: Stand still, and it will all be over soon.

Matt ran toward Mooreluv2006.

Mooreluv2006, holding a gamecube controller: How do I use a shield?

Lemon: ...

Mooreluv2006: Thanks!

Mooreluv2006 then pressed the button, which caused her to blow up, knocking herself out instantly.

Audience: ... What the fuck?

Adam Sesler: I guess,... Mat wins?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: For once, Lemon is silent!

Matt was teleported back to th Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Whoa!

The piece of shit shed had been replaced by a slightly larger and better made building. In the inside the orange crates had been replaced with pads on the floors that were separated by paper walls. The best thing of all was that they finally had a bathroom.

Smashers: SWEET!

Master Hand: Matt, you steaks in your room.

Matt: Oh yeah! Wait, how come there's 10 rooms and only 5 of us?

Master Hand: This place wasn't cheap! You know how much it cost to get plumbing out her in the desert! This is gonna have to last you for a while!

Matt: Fine. See you guys tomorrow, I'm eating my steak then going to bed!

Matt then ate his steak and went to bed.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

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REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	6. Day 6

Matt here: If you don't like how this story is going, the slowly earning charecter shit, then check out; TheBrawl:my way by pat the almighty. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off retards!

There was a loud explosion.

Matt: What the fuck?

Mooreluv2006: The fucking alarm went off, so I tried to turn it off, but I fucking exploded! AGAIN! I think my controller's rigged.

Matt and Master Hand, tools behind their backs: No! Who would do that?

Mooreluv2006: Whatever. I call the shower!

Mooreluv2006 ran to the bathroom and locked the door.

Matt: FUCK!

Mario: What-a is tha matter?

Megaman: This is gonna take a while, might as well have her breakfast.

The 4 other Smashers ate her breakfast after they were done with theirs.

Mooreluv2006, leaving the bathroom in a towel: I'm done! Where's my breakfast?

Matt: Uh, Pichu cummed in it, so we through it out.

Mooreluv2006: God damn it!

Matt: What's with the towel?

Mooreluv2006: My normal costumed is in the wash, so I'm in an alternate one.

Megaman: I want to know what my alternate costume is!

Megaman ran into his room, and looked in his cardboard box.

Megaman: RED! I FUCKING HATE RED! MEGAMAN MAD! GAHHHHH!

Master Hand: What the hell is going on here?

Matt: I don't know, who's my match today?

Master Hand: It's Saturday! There are no matches! It's the Sabbath!

Matt: Your Jewish?

Master Hand: Don't you notice the hat?

Matt: That's not a hat, it's a bike helmet painted black!

Master Hand suddenly appeared.

Master Hand: Hey everyone! Time for today's ma,.. What the fuck are you doing here Retarded Hand?

Retarded Hand: Uh, duh, I dunno!

Master Hand: You been pretending to be me, haven't you, you fucking retard!

Retarded Hand: Duh! Transport!

Adam Sesler: It's Saturday, and why is this match in a giant crapper?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Ah, yes, the time space continuum could do that, or Matt's just up against a retarded super power.

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Let the match begin!

Matt, drawing his katana: You chose to fight, now you will die!

Retarded Hand: Me gotta go potty!

Retarded Hand turned around and started to shit all over the place.

Matt: Fucker Mother! Place the over all shitting fucking you why?

Retarded Hand, still shitting all over Matt: What da fuck? Duh!

Matt then shoved a giant toilet paper tube up Retarded Hand's ass.

Retarded Hand: What? Me no go poopy no more!

Adam Sesler: That has to hurt!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: NO I WOULD NOT LIKE THAT TO HAPPEN TO ME!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Shut the fuck up!

Retarded Hand, ass getting huge: What happening with my poopy hole?

Retarded Hand's ass then exploded, killing him instantly.

Adam Sesler: Well it looks like Matt, ... wait, what's happening now?

Out of the pile of shit that used to be Retarded Hand came a white orb of light. It shot out, and missed Matt, heading strait for the Announcer box. It was absorbed by Lemon.

Adam Sesler: Are you ok, Lemon?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Serious, Lemon. You ok?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Lemon, speak to me!

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: LEMON!

Matt was then teleported to the Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Master Hand: Where's Retarded Hand?

Matt: I killed him.

Master Hand: YOU WHAT?

Matt: Killed him. Now could you excuse me, I really need a shower.

Master Hand, teleporting back: Mother Hand's gonna kill me.

Matt: I need the shower!

Mario: No way! It's my,.. HOLY FUCK! YOU-A SMELL A-LIKE SHIT!

Mario then let Matt have the shower. Matt then changed into his alternate costume, Black Dragon-skin Armor, and went to bed.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

* * *

If you don't review I'll unleash my hoard of man-eating dougnuts on the earth! I'm serious! I'll do it! I'm _CRAZZZZY!_ I like pie! Meeps! 


	7. Day 7

Matt here: I'm gonna keep writing this, but I'm gonna be taking tomorrow off so I can have some time to read stories and find some new material. I like pie! Meeps!

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off monkey humpers! 

The alarm went off.

Pichu: Pi pi Chu!

Pichu then blew up the alarm clock.

Matt: Where the fuck do we keep getting all of these alarm clocks?

Mario: There's a tree-a that-a grows them out back-a!

Matt: Then why don't we sell those?

Megaman: They blow up after 24 hours.

Matt: That explains how Pichu broke it.

Everyone but Pichu burst out in laughter.

After breakfast,...

Matt: So where the fuck is Master hand? I want my match for today!

Mooreluv2006: Didn't you hear? He got grounded today by his mom for letting his little brother die.

A giant screen pooped out of the floor.

Smashers: HOLY FUCK!

Master Hand appeared on the screen.

Master Hand, whispering: Hey guys. I'm stuck in my room. There will be good news.

Matt: If you fucking say that you just fucking saved a bunch of fucking money by switching to fucking Geiko, I'll fucking rip your fucking nuts off!

Master Hand: I wasn't,... uh... going to say that. I also got a chance to check my answering machine and it appears that a few of the people that I invited called to say that they would be a week late, they'll be arriving at noon. Now, about the new...

Mother Hand: Dear! What are you doing in there?

Master Hand: Uh, uh, nothing!

Mother Hand: Are you shoving potatoes up your ass again?

Master Hand: I HAVEN'T DONE THAT SINCE I WAS 5!

Mother Hand: What are you talking about? I caught you doing it last weak!

Master Hand: Uh, gotta go!

Master Hand then turned off the monitor. All of the Smashers were rolling on the ground laughing.

Mooreluv2006: I thought he was Master Hand, not Master-bator Hand!

Everyone stopped laughing.

Matt: Shut the fuck up Mooreluv!

The Smashers beat the crap out of Stan the Programer, who replaced punching bag Bob. The alarm clock blew up.

Matt: Must be noon!

The Smashers then went to the front of the house, just in time for the bus to pull in.

Mysterious Voice: We be here! Argh!

Wind Waker Link stepped out of the bus.

Wind Waker Link: Argh! I be a Pirate! Ah! Me eyepatch!

The Smashers all vomited seeing the empty space where WW. Link's eye used to be. A blue Mewtwo stepped off the bus and noticed WW. Link's empty socket.

Mewtwo, satanic tone: I WILL RAPE YOU IN THE EYE! (He always talks like that.)

Mewtwo then shoved his cock into WW. Link's socket.

Wind Waker Link: OH GOD! IT BURNS! EW! IT'S SINKING INTO MY BRAIN!

Mysterious Voice: That is, like, so wrong!

Zelda stepped off the bus.

Zelda: Your getting, like, raped in the eye! And you said you were, like, fucking strait!

Wind Waker Link: Argh! I be strait! He just be raping me eye hole! Argh!

Mewtwo, satanic tone: I WILL CONSUME YOUR SOULS!

Mysterious Voice: Leave the pirate alone, dude!

Mario: YOU-A!

Sonic the Hedgehog stepped off the bus.

Sonic: Mario! My old nemesis, Whoa!

Mario: And-a you-a are?

Sonic: Whoa, you fucking suck, dude! (Just so you know, Sonic talks like a beach bum.)

Mysterious Voice #1: Calm down...

Mysterious Voice #2: Sonic. He is...

#1: an ally...

#2: at the moment.

The Ice Climbers stepped out of the bus.

Popo: Hello, we...

Nana: are the Ice climbers.

Matt: Are you guys like twins?

Popo: We are actually...

Nana: siamese twins,...

Popo: that is why...

Nana: We finish each other's...

Popo: sentences.

Megaman: Then where are you guys connected?

Popo: At the penis...

Nana: and vagina.

Smashers: HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?

Popo: Well, it happened...

Nana: Like this.

(Flashback starts.)

Matt: HOLD IT!

(Flashback ends)

Popo: What is...

Nana: wrong?

Matt: We barely have enough in the budget for food! We don't have money in the budget for flashbacks! We all know it had something to do with incest and rubber cement!

Popo: ...

Nana: ...

With that everyone went to their bedrooms.

Matt, thinking: Tomorrow's gonna be interesting.

Mewtwo: SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT THAT TOMORROW SHIT!

Matt, thinking: STOP READING MY MIND! I GOTTA THINK ABOUT A NAKED NANA!

Mewtwo: Can I get in on that?

Matt, thinking: I guess.

Matt and Mewtwo then watched naked Nana in Matt's head until they both fell asleep.

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All I have to say is REVIEW! Or I'll hunt you down and rip off your head and shove it up your ass! I like pie! Meeps! 


	8. Day 8

Matt here: I'm trying to avoid all my chapters to revolve around battling because that makes for a bad story. SSB has no plot, which is where I work best, but I don't have a crutch to lean on to get started. I'm trying to get it to work. Review and help me out by telling me things I need to work on. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Ron!

Matt awoke to the sound of an alarm clock.

Matt: What the fuck is up with the Narrator? That wasn't an alarm!

Matt then turned in his bed/ mat.

Matt: MEWTWO! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?

Mewtwo, satanic tone: Uh, uh,...

Mewtwo then waved his hand in front of Matt's face.

Mewtwo: I am not the jedi you are looking for.

Matt, in a trance: You are not the jedi I am looking for.

Mewtwo: I am in here to warn you of the noise, not for my own homosexual pleasure.

Matt: You are here to warn me of the noise, not for your own faggy pleasure.

Mewtwo: You will never remember nor speak of this again to anyone.

Matt: About what?

Mewtwo: Perfect.

Matt and Mewtwo then went to see what was making the noise. They got to the door and saw an Eggplant.

Matt: The Ice Climbers? Maybe Nana getting her pussy eaten by Pichu.

Matt and Mewtwo laughed.

Mewtwo, satanic tone: Hahaha! He would do that, too!

Mewtwo then slowly slid the door open with his psychic.

Matt: OH MY GOD! IT'S HIDEOUS!

There was a portal to Pittsburgh.

Mewtwo: Sorry, I used teleport by mistake.

Mewtwo then turned off the teleport.

Matt: That is wrong!

Mewtwo: I'm the spawn of Satan, and I think that's wrong!

Pichu: (Vomits!)

The Ice Climbers woke up.

Popo: What is...

Nana: Wrong?

Matt: YOU TWO ARE FUCKING FUCKING!

Popo: We already told you,...

Nana: We are siamese twins joined ant the cock and cunt.

Matt: Oh, ok then.

Mewtwo: Good night.

Matt and Mewtwo then closed the door and slipped on Pichu puke, knocking all three of them out. They awoke to the sound of plates clanking.

Mooreluv2006: Wake up, Sleepyheads!

Matt: Uh, where am I, and why does my mouth taste like cock?

Mewtwo: I'M NOT A HOMOSEXUAL!

Mooreluv2006: Come on, I saved your guys breakfast.

Matt, Mewtwo, and Pichu ate their breakfast. After they finished, WW. Link walked into the house.

Wind Waker Link: Argh! I hast unlocked Jigglypuff! Ye scurvy dogs!

Matt: Hey! Good for you! Wait,...

Matt then did a head count, recounted on his fingers, then for some reason, thought about growing a goatee, cause they're awesome.

Matt: OH NO! WE HAVE 11 PEOPLE!

Mooreluv2006: No, The Ice Climbers count as one.

Matt: Fhew!

Mewtwo: You did remember to count yourself, right?

Matt: Oh corse I di... EVERYONE OUT OF THE HOUSE!

The Smashers all ran out of the house, just in time, too, because a bigger one came crashing down. I had a living room, kitchen, a boys and girls bathroom, and actual rooms! But best of all,...

Matt: TV!

Matt and Mewtwo ran and sat down on the couch and started to watch Pokemon, there was a Growlith battling a Corphish.

Mewtwo: I had a shot at the lead character of this! But I was to good for it! I hate myself! Wahhhhhhhh!

Matt slowly moved off the couch onto the recliner. Suddenly, Master Hand appeared on the screen.

Master Hand: Hello Smashers! I finally got enough in the budget for Poke to English translators. There on the table behind you.

All of the pokemon went to the table and put the translators around there necks, except Mewtwo, who had his put on by Mooreluv2006.

Mewtwo; I CAN FUCKING TALK ON MY OWN! WHY DO I NEED A FUCKING TRANSLATOR?

PokeTranslator: I want to fuck you up the anus!

Master Hand: Yeah, that one didn't work, so we turned it into a shock collar.

Mewtwo: WHAT?

Mooreluv2006, pressing a button: DON'T TALK BACK!

Mewtwo: skajgflksaugfliasgflg! That's it! PSYBEAM!

Mewtwo then shoot a beam of energy at the collar, blowing it up, but setting his neck on fire.

Mewtwo: MY NECK! AHHHHH!

Mewtwo then ran through the wall and into the sunset.

Zelda: That was, like, sooo killa!

Master Hand: On a lighter note, a new character decided to join. There he is know!

Batman, retard voice: Nhuna, nhuna, nhuna, nhuna! Nhuna, nhuna, nhuna, nhuna! BATMAN! BATMAN!

Matt: That's not Batman, is that Retarded Hand?

Batman: Ah, poopy! How'd you know it was me?

Matt: Well, you're a giant glove! If your gonna pretend to be Batman, your gonna have to do more then just fucking put on a batman mask! Also, you could have lost the bike helmet!

Retarded Hand: Ah, poopy!

Matt: And didn't I kill you?

Retarded Hand then disappeared into thin air.

Matt: That was weird.

Master Hand: Now, COULD YOU TURN THE CHANNEL! THE GROWLITH IS EATING ME!

Matt then turned the tv off.

Matt: Come on guys! I'm making PB&J for dinner!

The Smasher then ate dinner, and either watched tv or went to their rooms until bedtime. Matt was about to fall asleep when he heard a crash next door in Mewtwo's room. Matt checked his watch.

Matt: Around the world in 8 hours. Not to bad.

Matt then fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say, but remember to review! I like pie! Meeps! 


	9. Day 9

Matt here: I had some free time so I wrote this. I tried to combine fighting and home life, so review and tell me how I did. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers! 

Matt woke up to th sound of an alarm clock blowing up, then another, and another.

Matt: What the fuck?

Matt looked out the window. He noticed The Ice Climbers and Mooreluv2006 playing baseball with the Alarm Clock Bomb Fruits.

Matt: Whatever, I'm hungry!

Matt went down to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal, and sat down on the couch and watched cartoons.

Megaman: Hey Matt! Xaiolin Showdown on yet?

Matt: It's on after this, why don't you go grab some breakfast?

Megaman: I guess.

Mewtwo: Hey! What's up?

Matt: Just watching some tv.

Master Hand: You aren't now! You gotta match!

Matt: GOD DAMN COCK SUCKING BITCH FAG MOTHER FUCKER!

Everyone: ...

Matt was then teleported to the arena.

Matt: God Damn it! I hate Pokemon Stadium!

Adam Sesler: Today is Matt's match against newcomer/pro, Kirby.

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: I'm glad to see your all better!

Lemon, growing horns and fangs: I WILL CONSUME YOU SOUL!(Note: I'll just call Lemon, Lemon Demon after this to indicate the change.)

Adam Sesler: What was that?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Oh ok then. Let the match begin!

Kirby: You gonna be go'in down! Fool! (Yes, Kirby will talk with a ghetto accent.)

Matt, taking out his katana: You shall be the one going down!

Kirby: Hate the game, not the playa!

Matt: What the fuck was that for?

Kirby: To distract you while I absorb your powers.

Kirby then sucked up Matt, then spit him out, and grew blonde hair and a black trench coat.

Kirby: Now to use your fucking B-move, bey-otch!

Kirby the took out a katana.

Kirby: That's it! I can't even fucking swing it! This is wiggity-wiggity wack, yo!

Matt: Of course not! That's my Up B-move! Watch.

Matt then swung his katana, which caused a giant wave of yellow energy to knock out Kirby instantly.

Adam Sesler: I looks like Matt wins!

Lemon Demon: DUH! YOU FUCKING HOMOSEXUAL BASTERD!

Adam Sesler: WHAT?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Oh, that's ok.

Matt was then teleported to the Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Hey Everyone! I unlocked Kirby!

Smashers: Awesome! Good for you!

Mooreluv2006, teleporting back: Hey Everybody! I just unlocked Tails!

Smashers: Whoop tee do! You want a fucking parade! Bitch!

Mooreluv2006 ran to her room crying.

Sonic: Whoa! Tails! Dude, you're here too! Dude! That's awesome! Air Guitar!

Tails: Pe-shaw! That is FAB-U-LOUS!

Sonic and Tails did that macho handshake turns into a hug thing, you know what I'm talking about, except Tails kind of held on too long.

Tails: So, Sonic, you gonna help me in my room?

Sonic: Sure, dude! You're my bro!

Matt: Wait, Sonic, I have to talk to you!

Tails: Ok, I'll be waiting for you Sonic!

Sonic: Dude, what is it?

Matt: Sonic, you do know Tails is gay?

Sonic: No he isn't. That's the way he's always talked, dude!

Matt: Probably because he's always been gay!

Sonic: Dude, your fucking high!

Sonic then went upstairs to help Tails set up his room, now slightly curious about his friend's sexuality.

Kirby: That Mo-Fo was fucking queer!

Matt, rubbing his hands: Time for dinner!

The Smashers then ate dinner and went to bed. Matt was about to fall asleep when he heard Tails crying next room over.

Tails, crying: Oh Sonic, why won't you love me? Why?

Tails eventually cried himself to sleep. Matt then tried to fall asleep, but it took a while, as he feared having a room next to a desperate homosexual.

* * *

In the infamous words of M. Night Shamalon, "What a twist!". REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! 


	10. Day 10

Matt here: I managed to get one more chapter in before my day off! Yay me! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!

Matt awoke to the door opening in next room over. He looked at the clock.

Matt: 6:00 a.m.! I could be sleeping for another two hours.

Tails: Sonic! Look out! Oops!

Sonic: Whoa! Dude! You got it in my eye!

Tails: I'm sorry! It just kind of came out! You didn't move your head away before I could point it away from you!

Matt listened in horror.

Sonic: I've gotta clean this up, dude!

Tails: I'll take you to the bathroom.

Matt opened his door to see.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK?

Matt saw a huge glob of white liquid on Sonic's eyes.

Matt: That is fucking sick!

Sonic: This, oh NO! It's not that! It's glue! Me and Tails were making a poster for his room!

Tails, holding a busted bottle of glue: See.

Matt: Ok, I gotta tell Mewtwo.

Matt then knocked on Mewtwo's door.

Matt: Dude, I'm coming in.

Matt walked into the room, to see Mewtwo masturbating. Matt put his hands over his eyes.

Matt: Dude! Put that away! Were you getting off to that?

Mewtwo, shoving his cock back into the slit it stays in: No! I was thinking, ... man, this is hard to fit back in when it's erect,... of Mooreluv2006's mind. She was rubbing her cunt!

Matt: That's sweet! I'm going back to bed!

Mewtwo: Ok.

Matt then went back to bed, and slept till lunch.

Matt, coming down the stairs: Hey everyone! What's,... Who the fuck is he, and why is he in my spot?

Bowser Jr.: I'm the next in line for the Koopa Kingdom! You will treat me with respect!

Matt: Come on! I can take you!

B. Jr.: That's it!

Bowser Jr. charged at him. Matt held him back easily with that hand on the head holding back thing.

B. Jr.: I'll kill you!

Matt: Whatever shorty!

B. Jr., crying: I just haven't hit my growth spurt yet! Wahhhhhhhhh!

B. Jr. ran up to his room.

Mooreluv2006: Did you really have to make him cry?

Matt, watching tv: Yes, yes I did.

Matt watched tv until Popo and Nana came down to talk to him.

Ice Climbers: We are wondering, which bathroom do we use?

Matt: That simple you use the,... uh,... just a sec.

Matt, yelling: HEY EVERYONE! DO YOU CARE IF POPO AND NANA USE WHATEVER BATHROOM THEY WANT?

Smashers: SURE! THERE CONNECTED AT THE COCK AND CUNT! WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING THAT THEIR NOT FAMILIAR WITH!

Matt: Use whatever one you want!

Ice Climbers: Uh, ok.

The then ran to the bathroom.

Matt: Another crisis averted! They day is saved!

Matt then watched tv till bedtime, then fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say, but REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	11. Day 11

Matt here: I know said I would take the day off, but the thing I had to do was moved to Friday, so I'll take that off. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything inn this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!

Matt awoke to his alarm clock.

Matt: Finally! I wake up normally!

Matt then walked over to Mario's door, which had the mushroom kingdom symbol on it.

Matt, knocking: Wake up, you fat Italian basterd!

Mario: I'm-a up!

Matt and Mario then went down to grab breakfast.

Matt: Man, we need more chicks here!

Suddenly, Master Hand ran through the wall.

Master Hand: OH YEAH!

Matt: For the last fucking time, YOU ARE NOT THE KOOL-AID GUY!

Master Hand: I've got good news! There's another bus coming today!

Matt: Why?

Master Hand: I accidently told them the Smash tournament in the Antarctic region.

Matt: I fucking hate you doucebag!

Master Hand, disappearing: They'll be here at noon!

Matt: Great! I have to fight more people for my spot!

Dr. Nick, crashing through a window: HI EVERYBODY!

Matt: DR. NICK! GO FUCKING HOME! YOU DON'T HAVE ANY POWERS!

Dr. Nick then ran away. Matt sat down in his spot and watched tv.

An hour later,...

Mooreluv2006: Your room, NOW!

Matt, looking away from the tv: I like where this is going...

Mooreluv2006, rolling her eyes: Not like that! You sick pervert!

Matt: Fine!

Matt and Mooreluv2006 went up to his room. Matt laid down on his bed.

Mooreluv2006, sarcastically: Nice.

She pointed to a naked picture of Zelda rubbing her pubic hair.

Matt: What? I was a birthday present!

Mooreluv2006: Your birthday's October 12th!

Matt: ..., I regret nothing.

Mooreluv2006, looking away from the poster: Anyway, Bowser Jr. Won't come out of his room!

Matt: So.

Mooreluv2006: It's all your fault!

Matt: Fine, let's call his dad and get him here!

Mooreluv2006: Here use my cell.

Matt then dialed Bowser's number, waited for a few rings, then got the machine.

Bowser's Machine: Hey, you reached Bowser, I can't come to the phone right now, I'm probably raping Princess Peach right now! Fuck Yeah! Beep!

Matt, hanging up: He's not there.

Suddenly, Matt heard the bus pull up outside.

Matt: MY SPOT!

Matt ran downstairs to his place on the couch. Just then the people got off the bus.

Link: HEY EVERYBODY! THE PAR-TAY HAS ARRIVED!

Jigglypuff: Stop! In the name of love! (Did I mention, Jigglypuff talks in song lyrics.)

Megaman: Yeah, we already have a Link.

WW. Link: Argh! He be an imposter!

Link: Aren't you like a decedent of me, or something?

WW. Link: Argh! That be right!

Ganondorf: Oh fuck, eh! 'Er are two of you, eh! (Canadian, DUH!)

WW. Link: Ganondorf! Argh! Me mortal enemy!

Ganondorf: What are you talking aboot, eh? I only fought you in one game, eh!

Link: YOU GOT SERVED!

Peach: Oh boys, don't fight over me.

Link: We're not fighting over you!

WW. Link: Argh! If anything, we're fighting over Zelda! Me hartys!

Peach: Slave girl! Come in with my things!

Daisy, carrying Peach's stuff: I told you! I'm a princess, too!

Peach: Ah huh. Whatever you say.

Daisy: I fucking hate you, bitch!

Samus: I'm here!

Nobody moved.

Samus: What, no hugs?

Mooreluv2006, whispering to Matt: You want to go at the same time and see who it leans too?

Matt, whispering: Probably the best plan.

Matt and Mooreluv2006 went up to Mooreluv2006. Samus grabbed and hugged Mooreluv2006. Matt shook it's hand.

Matt, whispering to Mooreluv2006: Defiantly a dude!

Mooreluv2006: Yeah, your right.

A giant monkey then ran in the room. Mooreluv2006 screamed.

DK: Don't be frightened, my ducky! I'm am actually quite civilized. Chip-chip Cherry-ho and what not! (British accent)

Everybody stared a DK.

DK: Uh, I mean, Eeek?

Dr. Mario: I SAY! What a fine specimen of Giganteus Apeous!

Everybody laughed.

Matt: Giganteus Anus!

Dr. Mario: That is very immature!

DK: I agree, old chap!

Mario, waking up from a nap: PEACH! Your-a here, with Dr. Mario?

Peach: I thought I told you, I'm breaking up with you. He's got everything you got, except he's a doctor!

Dr. Mario: Look's like my superior intelligence triumphs again!

Mario: Wahh-a!

Matt: Hey Peach! Want have some fun?

Peach: What about Dr. Mario?

Matt: Look! DK's shitting!

Dr. Mario: Astounding!

Matt then took Peach up to his room.

Peach, looking at the poster: You naughty boy!

Matt: Less talky, more humpy!

Peach then took off her dress and climbed on the bed.

Peach: You ready?

Matt, already humping: I started 2 minutes ago.

Meanwhile,...

Tails: So, Sonic, I have to tell you something important-ish.

Sonic: What, dude?

Tails: Sonic, I'm...

Peach: OH MATT HARDER, HARDER!

Mario: What-a...

Dr. Mario: The fuck?

Peach: Oh MATT! OH FUCK YES!

The bed suddenly broke through the floor, falling in the middle of the crowd.

Smashers, starring: ...

Mewtwo closed his eyes and ran to his room before the tears started to fall.

Matt, still humping: Ok, ...this is exactly what it looks like.

Bowser Jr.: What are they doing?

Three hand's immediately covered his eyes.

Matt, still humping: Could you guys, UH, put this back in my room?

DK: Fine, I'll do it. Chim-Chim Charoo!

DK then grabbed the room with his great monkey strength and melded it back using his eye lasers.

Peach: OH, OH OH! I'M THERE! Oh, that was good. You done yet?

Matt: Almost, OH YEAH, finished my, RIGHT THERE, third round. FUCK YEAH. Done!

Peach cuddled up against Matt.

Peach: Good night, my well hung hero.

Matt: Whatever fucking bitch.

Peach snuggled up closer to Matt and fell asleep.

Matt: That was a fun day.

Matt then fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say, but REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! By the way, PAT, YOUR A FUCKING LIAR, YOU FAT BASTERD! 


	12. Day 12

Matt here: I just wanted you guys to remember, REVIEW! You lazy basterds! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!

Matt awoke to Peach snuggling up closer.

Matt: Man, I slept good. 10 times in one night, that's enough to even tire me out.

Matt then heard crying.

Matt, waking Peach: Peach, we might want to leave before Tails cries about how Sonic won't accept his love.

Peach: WHAT?

Matt: I mean, let's go get breakfast.

Peach: I need something clean to wear.

Matt: Then go get it!

Peach: I'm not running in the halls naked.

Matt: Why not, I would?

Peach: It's not the same for girls. I need something clean to wear, now!

Matt: Why can't you just put on the one you had yesterday?

Peach: I can't wear the same thing 2 days in arow! What will the others think?

Matt just starred at her with a "you're a fucking moron" look on his face.

Peach: Right, all video game/ cartoon characters wear the same thing. But still, you cummed all over that dress in time 9. It's completely white now!

Matt: So?

Peach, VERY angry: NEVER ASSOCIATE ME WITH NURSE PEACH AGAIN! OR MY FOOT WILL MEET YOUR NUTS!

Matt: Like how they did in time 4?

Peach: No, like kicking you in the nut's.

Matt, depressed: It's never like in time 4.

Peach: Stop being a such a big baby.

Matt: Ok, ok. How about you wear my street clothes?

Peach: Ok, those will do.

Matt and Peach got dressed and went down for breakfast.

Megaman: Hey! They're finally up!

Megaman went up for a high five, but the second the hands collided Megaman's blaster went off, burning Matt's hand.

Matt: OH GOD! YOU FUCKING SUCK DUDE!

Megaman: Sorry, I don't have any control over it.

Matt: I fucking hate you dude!

Matt then looked around the room and noticed that a lot of the guys were tired.

Matt: What's wrong with you, Mario?

Mario: YOU 2-A KEPT ME UP-A ALL NIGHT!

Matt, rubbing his head: Yeah, sorry about that.

Zelda slid over closer to Matt, her hand sliding her hand down to his crotch.

Zelda: I heard that you, like, really know how to, like, make a woman happy.

Matt, liking what was happening: From who?

Zelda: From, like, the room across from me?

Matt: Wait, aren't you the...

Zelda put her finger up against his lips. She pointed to the other Triforce characters.

At the Triforce trio,...

Wind Waker Link: Argh! He be muscling in on our girl! I ain't be switchin' to the poopdeck entrance!

Ganondorf: I say we open a temporary truce, eh?

Link: Fine, until Matt is out of the picture.

Wind Waker Link: Argh! Deal, it be!

Ganondorf: Deal, eh.

Back at pleasure center, a.k.a. Matt's seat,...

Matt: And so I said to him, That's not my Yoshi, it's my wife!

The table burst out in laughter.

Mario: Hey-a Matt! We are all out of Parmesan-a Cheese! Go to the store and-a pick some up.

Matt: THE STORES 6 HOURS AWAY! CAN'T YOU WAIT 5 MINUTES FOR MASTER HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR OUT OF THIN AIR?

Mario: Frankly, no-a. Take-a my Yoshi.

Mario threw a set of keys at Matt.

Matt, holding the keys: Ooookkkkkkkk.

Matt then went out to the garage. He saw Yoshi sleeping.

Matt: Since when do we have a garage?

Matt, The Author: Since it became important to the plot.

Matt: Oh.

Matt then tried to wake up Yoshi, but noting work.

Matt, holding the keys: I wonder,...

Matt then shoved the key up Yoshi's ass.

Yoshi: Yo, yo, yoyo SHI!

Matt then got on Yoshi's back and rode him down the road.

Yoshi: My name is Yoshi, I live in the bronks, I shot down some Koopa ass, and killed a lot of cops!

Matt, hitting Yoshi on the head with a hammer: What else is on?

Yoshi: I'm so sorry, Birdo. My Goomba was hit by a car. I just want your sweet honky tonk.

Matt, hitting him again: I hat country.

Yoshi: I rape little boys, when they're in their beds. I do them up the ass, and make them give me head!

Matt, hitting him again: AH! POP!

Yoshi: Praise God, or he will smite your ass! He'll plague you with locustes, until you worship his name.

Matt, hitting him again: Man, Christian Rock has gotten lazy.

Yoshi: I am Yoshiman! Nuna, nuna, nuna, Yoshiman!

Matt: Eh, it's ok.

Matt then rode Yoshi to the store, he went inside and grabbed the cheese, then walked out, noticing a group of people around Yoshi.

Xzibit: What is up with this Yoshi?

Matt: What are you talking about?

Xzibit: Is this your Yoshi?

Matt: Kind of, borrowing from a friend.

Xzibit: Take us too him, NOW!

Matt then rode back to the house.

Matt: Hey everyone!

DK: Where have you been, chap? You've missed your match.

Matt: Damn. Where's Mario?

DK: In the kitchen, old bean. Good Day, I'm retiring to my room for a jolly good read!

Mario: What-a is it?

Matt, tossing him the cheese: I got the Parmesan, and these guys gotta tell you...

Xzibit: Mario, we're here to PIMP YOUR YOSHI!

Mario: Oh-a my god! That-a is sweet!

Xzibit: This show normally takes about a day, but we had such a long limo ride we did it on the way. Come out and see.

Mario: Oddlay-baeloo, Odala-baloo!

Outside,...

Xzibit: We pimped out this Yoshi with gold-plated shoes, spinners on the shoes, diamonds on the teeth, leopard-skin saddle, booming megaphone attached to the mouth, and a rocket launcher attached to the mouth.

Mario: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAST ONE?

Xzibit: Uh,... kittens? RUN! Here's the bill!

Mario was then handed the bill and left in the dust of the speeding limo.

Mario: How-a much can it be-a?

Mario then looked down at the bill.

Mario: FUCK!

Mario then fainted.

Matt, stepping over Mario's body: I wonder what's for dinner.

Matt then grabbed some food and went to bed.

* * *

Nothing much to say, except REVIEW! For gods sake, you fucking retards! REVIEW! REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	13. Day 13

Matt here: I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter I have ever written. That's what I get for putting 3 plots in one chapter, oh well. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off lawyers!

Matt awoke to the groans next room over.

Matt: Oh god no.

He then realized that they were coming from the door.

Matt, opening the door: Dude! Are you ok?

There laid Pikachu, red eyes, beaten up, and crawling.

Pikachu: Pika,...pi,...ka,...chu.

Matt, putting on a PokeTranslator: Here you go.

Pikachu: My,...cocks,...fucking,...on,...fire.

Matt: Uh,... see Jigglypuff about that.

Matt then went back to bed.

Pika Cam,...

Jigglypuff: Honky Tonk Badankadonk?

Pikachu: Fuck yeah!

Jigglypuff: I JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU! (I've got a song that says that!)

Pikachu then took his cock out from the slit it stays in a humped Jigglypuff into submission on her pink beanbag bed.

Jigglypuff: Jig, Jig, Jiggly, JIGGLYPUFF!

A huge wave of cum shot out of Jigglypuff's vagina, slamming Pikachu against her pink wall.

Pikachu, smoking a cigarette: That was some good fucking sex.

Jigglypuff: I think I love you, but how am I gonna say it?

Pikachu: How about more sex?

Jigglypuff: Check Yes or NO! (That's all I could think of.)

Pikachu: FUCK YES!

Pikachu then got back on top of Jigglypuff, humping like the little rat he is.

Meanwhile,...

Matt: How can I have six rooms across from me?

Back at the Pika Cam,...

Pikachu, humping: I,...UH,... think... GOD YES, that we should,... FUCK YEAH, go downstairs and sign me in. PIKACHU!

Pikachu the accidently shot a thunder attack out of his cock, electrifying Jigglypuff's pussy.

Pikachu: Sorry!

Jigglypuff: It hurts so good! Come on baby, It hurts so good!

Pikachu: Fine, I'll do a few more shocks, but I've really got to sign in.

Jigglypuff: That's the way, uh-hu uh-hu, I like it, uh-hu uh-hu!

Meanwhile,...

Matt: So, Zelda, want to have a three-way?

Zelda: Like, fuck yeah!

Matt then slid over to Peach.

Matt: Hey Peach! I just...

Peach: I'm not having a tree-some!

Matt: Technically, it's a four-some.

Peach: Really? You must have worked your ass off.

Matt: Yeah, let's go with that.

Peach: Who's the other two chicks?

Matt: Zelda and,...

Peach: You don't have a fourth person?

Matt: No.

Suddenly the door broke down.

Kagome: I'm here!

Matt: What a coincidental coincidence! (Yay! Redundancy!)

Kagome: With Inuyasha!

Matt: Fucking god damn it!

Inuyasha: FUCK! What are you doing here? And since when are you human?

Matt, holding a bone: Doggie want a bone?

Inuyasha, on all fours: Yes, yes!

Matt, throwing the bone out the window: Go get it!

Inuyasha chased after the bone. Matt walked up to Kagome.

Matt, cheesy french accent: 'Ello Masami. You want to make sweet love by le fire.

Kagome: Let's see, there are six other women in the house, and your trying to romance me. How many other chicks will there be?

Matt, ditching the fake accent: 4.

Kagome: 2.

Matt: 3, and that's final.

Kagome,... deal, but I get to be one of the two chicks that stay in bed with you.

Matt: Deal.

Matt and Kagome then shook hands, then Matt squeaked her boobs because that is fun.

Kagome, covering her tits: Not in front of the dog!

Matt, restraining himself: What ever you say, mam.

Back at the table behind Matt,...

Kirby: What de fuck? That cracker gets all the chicks! (Note: I'm white, so It's ok if I say cracker. The trade off is that I can't say "BEEP!" See, it's censored out.)

Mewtwo, stroking Kirby's back: Who needs chicks?

Kirby: What the fucking hell, Mo fo?

Mewtwo: I mean,... with porn on the internet and all.

Kirby: Whew, I thought you was a fucking queer!

Mewtwo, remembering Kirby's back: Huggably, rapeably, soft.

Kirby: What mo fo?

Mewtwo, sighing: Nothing.

Suddenly, Pikachu came down the stair with a huge erection.

Pichu: Oh god, put that thing away!

Pikachu, looking down: Ah shit! Sorry!

Pikachu shoved his cock back into it's holding slit.

Tails and Mewtwo: Ah man.

Everyone looked at the two.

Tails and Mewtwo: Uh, we mean, uh,... FOOTBALL!

Pichu: So, Pikachu, how'd you get here?

Pikachu: Well, my trainer, Ash, was fucking a prostitute, because he has mother issues, THAT SOMEONE HERE CAUSED!

Everyone starred at Matt.

Matt: What? Just because I'm the only one here who can travel through universes at will, it's automatically me who had sex with Ash's mom!

Everyone: YES!

Matt,... I regret nothing.

Pikachu: Anyway, I got bored of waiting, so I light up a joint. I got sooo fucking high I forgot where I was, I wondered off, and stumbled into here. I then made hot sex with Jigglypuff.

Matt: Go on,...

Stacey then appeared out of thin air.

Stacey, slapping him: Pervert!

Stacey then disapeered.

Matt: That doesn't even make fucking sense!

Mooreluv2006, holding the remote: Here Pikachu, you get the tv since you're the new guy.

Matt, crying: NOOOOOOO! MY PRECESS!

Peach: Tv's more important to you then me!

Matt: Frankly, yes.

Peach: Your lucky your well hung!

Pikachu: What's tv?

Link: It's kind of like radio, except with pictures.

Pikachu: I know the radio! Ash used to leave it on when he left so I felt like someone was home.

WW. Link suddenly fell down and vomited all over the floor.

Jigglypuff: OH, MY, GOD!

Wind Waker Link: Argh! Me no fell good, me hartys!

Matt: Pichu, get something to clean that up.

Pichu: Ah shit.

Wind Waker Link: Argh! Could you be getting me some Chinese with that?

Pichu,... Ok.

Pichu then grabbed some towels and a bucket of Chinese food

Pichu: Here you go.

Dr. Mario: Put him in my room. I'll have a look at him.

Wind Waker Link: Argh! I ain't be one those butt pirates! My poopdeck will be a virgin till the day I die!

Dr. Mario: For god's shake! I'm a fucking doctor!

Matt: Aren't you a doctor in Jumpology? Not medicine. You just have all those pills because you're a drug dealer on the side, right?

Dr. Mario: Shush! He doesn't have to know that!

DK: Whatever, good chap! I just finished my afternoon tea, so I'll take him. Chim, chim, CHAROO!

DK then grabbed WW. Link and laid him down on the spare bed in Dr. Mario's room.

Dr. Mario, slamming the door: NO VISITORS!

The Smashers then waited patiently.

4 hours later,...

Peach: MATT! Stop using those time cards! It's only been fucking 15 minutes!

Dr. Mario: I have some bad news,...

Zelda: WHAT?

Dr. Mario, holding Mewtwo's hands: I'm not sure how to say this, but, ... CONGRATULATIONS! You're a father!

Mewtwo: WHAT THE FUCK?

Matt, whispering to Peach: He's taking that pretty well. I shot myself in the head when I found that out.

Mewtwo: How the fuck could that happen? I've never done it with him!

Matt: You mean with any man.

Mewtwo: Yeah, let's go with that.

Dr. Mario: Well it's very simple.

Dr. Mario pulled out a chart.

Dr. Mario: You see, when Mewtwo raped Wind Waker Link in the eye, his sperm went into Wind Waker Link's brain. His sperm then made friends with Wind Waker Link's brain cells and learned from them. They eventually worked there way through all of Wind Waker Link's vital organs, eventually gathering enough different cells to create an organism. It currently resides in his stomach, he'll need surgery to take it out.

Zelda: Whatever it takes!

Dr. Mario: I thought you'd say that, so I did the operation already.

Mew: MEW!

Matt: Mew! My old friend!

Matt and Mew did an incredibly cool handshake, that I won't tell you because you would just copy it in a feeble attempt to increase your own awesomeness.

Mooreluv2006, whispering to Zelda: How the fuck did that happen?

Zelda: I have, like, no fucking idea.

Matt: Well Mew, go fuck Mooreluv20061 I've got a four-some to get too!

Matt then grabbed Peach, Zelda, and Kagome. Mew ripped off Mooreluv2006's skirt and shoved his penis up his cunt. Matt went into his room.

Peach: How come it's always in your room?

Matt: Because, I have a desire to cum on things that are pink until they turn white.

Zelda: Ok, where did you get a naked picture of me?

Matt: Uh,... internet?

Zelda, removing her dress: Good awnser.

Kagome, taking off her clothes: That pictures making me hot.

Peach: Come on! We've started without you!

Matt, humping: Kagome, OH Yeah, you get on top of me! FUCK YES! And Zelda, you finger her slit!

Zelda and Kagome, playful tone: Yes sir.

6 hours of extremely hot sex later,...

Matt, cumming all over Kagome: Drink it bitch!

Kagome, blindfolded and drinking it: I'm sorry, gulp, daddy!

Whoops, sorry, didn't skip enough hours.

6 more hours of EXTREMELY hot sex,...

Matt was laying naked in his bed, Peach cuddling up on his right side, and Kagome on his left. Zelda had fallen asleep while 69-ing it with Matt.

Kagome: I thought you said she was going to leave.

Matt, with Zelda's pussy in his face: I'm sorry, she fell asleep while we were 69-ing it, what am I supposed to do. It would be rude to wake her.

Kagome: Yeah right! You just like the fact that your cock is n her mouth.

Matt: So? Just rub your boobs up against me and go to sleep.

Kagome, snuggling up to Matt: Fine.

Suddenly, faint scratches were heard.

Kagome, eyes wide: FUCK! Did we remember to let Inuyasha back in?

Matt: Yes, yes we did. Now lick Zelda's cum off my face, she dreamed about the accident I had in her mouth.

Kagome, licking it off: Ok, but this is the last time.

Matt and Kagome soon fell asleep.

Meanwhile,...

Inuyasha, scratching at the door and whimpering: I want to go inside. Matt better not be hitting on my girl!

* * *

That's right, I went there, twice! But seriously , REVIEW! and tell me if I went too far, so I can laugh at you for bieng pussys! REVIEW! Hahaha! I like pie! Meeps! 


	14. Day 14

Matt here: I had a fun day off Friday! It rocked! I took a day off and I'm still beating a unch of other writers! About a chapter a day, bitchs! FUCK YEAH!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Good Version of me!

Matt awoke to Zelda cumming all over his face.

Matt: Kagome.

Kagome, licking it off: Your cum always taste best fresh squeezed.

Matt: Actually, that's Zelda's.

Sokka, appearing out of thin air: It's the quenchiest!

Sokka then disapeered.

Matt: What the fuck was that?

Kagome: I don't know.

Kagome then felt her head.

Kagome: Damn, I need my morning fix.

Kagome then went under the covers to get her fresh squeezed "morning fix".

30 minutes later,...

Matt: Kagome, I think you've had enough.

Kagome, kind of chubby with a white stain around her mouth: I'll tell you when I've had enough!

Matt: Ok, but I have to put my pants on soon.

Megaman: Please! It's digesting watching him sit there on the couch while you do that!

Kagome, taking her mouth off his cock: FINE!

Master Hand, busting through the window: Time for today's matches!

Matt then got in line for matches.

Master Hand: and Matt, you'll get Jigglypuff.

Matt: FUCK YES!

Inuyasha: Hey! I want to fight Matt!

Master Hand: Ok, then Jigglypuff will be up against Pile-O-Bricks

Inuyasha: FUCK YEAH!

Matt: Man, I was hoping for a challenging fight.

Inuyasha: I'm challenging! I know over 1000 testicle-based attacks!

Matt: Did you copy that from a Dragon Balls Christmas Special?

Inuyasha: Uh,...no?

Matt: Whatever.

Matt and Inuyasha were teleported to Inuyasha Fields, a McDonalds in Russia.

Inuyasha: Why the hell is this my arena?

Matt: Because you engaged in pre-material sex, without a condom!

Inuyasha: You do that all the time!

Matt: Exactly, because condoms are for pussys!

Inuyasha: That didn't even...

Adam Sesler: It's a beautiful day here at,... Inuyasha Fields?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: That explains it!

Matt: Do you hear anything when that lemon talks?

Inuyasha: No, and I've got good hearing.

Adam Sesler: 3...2...1... BEGIN!

Inuyasha, taking out his tesaiga: Time to die!

Matt, pointing behind Inuyasha: Is that Kagome bending over in a really short skirt?

Inuyasha: WHERE?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: He's wasn't serious, you fucking pervert!

Inuyasha: He wasn't?

Matt then slammed his katana into the back of Inuyasha's skull, knocking him out. He then spent 2 minutes pushing him off the side of the field.

Matt: I win! Fuck yeah!

Matt was the teleported back to... What the fuck?

Matt: Where the fuck am... SHIT!

Matt noticed the giant letters that said "You have the chance to unlock, (Insert Character's name here)

Matt: Fuck! Random selection match!

Matt then found himself on Final Destination.

Matt: Who's the retard I'm fighting... SWEET!

Aang: Hi, I'm the Avatar.

Matt, pointing behind Aang: Is that Katara in a bikini?

Katara: Yeah! So what?

Matt then slammed his foot on the ground, causing a rock to fly up underneath Aang and Katara, knocking them out of the arena.

Matt: Sweet! I win, again! I get to do Katara! I get to do Katara!

Matt was then transported back to th Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Hey everyone! I unlocked two charecters1

Smashers, worried: HOW MANY DO WE HAVE NOW?

Matt, sensing the urgency: Uh, let's see, there's me, Mario, Megaman, Mooreluv2006, WW. Link, Ganondorf, Link, Zelda, Sonic, Tails, Samus, Mewtwo, Mew, Peach, Daisy, Dr. Mario, DK, Kirby, Kagome, Inuyasha, Pikachu, Pichu, Jigglypuff, Aang, and Katara. Whew, exactly 25, we're safe.

Mooreluv2006: You forgot Popo and Nana.

Matt: God damn it Mooreluv!

The upgraded house fell on top of all of the Smashers.

Master Hand: Where the fuck are the Smashers?

Master Hand the noticed the lumps in the floor.

Master Hand: Ah, shit.

Master Hand then snapped his fingers, making all the Smashers appear on the floor in front of him.

Matt: So, what's different about this one?

Master Hand: Uh, there are more rooms, each room is bigger, the tv's bigger, there's a game room and a library, the bathrooms are replaced with locker rooms, and the kitchens kind of bigger.

Matt: GOD DAMN IT! HOW MANY MORE UPGRADES BEFORE WE GET THAT MANSION THAT'S TALKED ABOUT IN ALMOST EVERY OTHER SUPER SMASH BROS.,...

Peach: PERSON!

Matt: PERSON FIC?

Master Hand: There's only been six reviews. That's not enough to get the mansion!

Matt: GOD DAMN IT! The people who read this story and don't review are fucking doucebags!

Master Hand, disappearing: Yeah, pretty much.

Matt then went to bed.

* * *

Nothing much to say but REVIEW OR I WILL CONSUME THE SOULS OF 1000 BUNNIES! I like pie! Meeps! P.S. I ivented paper! Bitchin! 


	15. Day 15

Matt here: This chapter was so long it took me 2 days to write it! I'm sorry, I'm not, but does that make you fell better? I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Good Version of Me!

Matt awoke to hammering next door.

Matt, drowsy: What the fuck is the homo doing?

Matt then walked over to Tails's,... that right?... Whatever.

Matt, knocking on the door: What the fuck are you doing in there? Masturbating to Calvin Kline ads?

Matt laughed at his own joke.

Tails, sobbing: Sonic won't love me... what's the point of living.

Matt: I better cheer him up.

Matt, walking in: Hey Tails, want to..., shit what do gay guys like? ...uh, read Yu-gi-oh fics?(It's no man's land there.)

Matt then saw Tails on a stool with a rope around his neck, tied to the ceiling.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE?

Tails, jumping: I LOVE YOU SONIC!

Matt, looking away: God damn it, maybe I can get his room.

Tails: Ow.

Matt looked to see Tails sitting on the floor rubbing his ass.

Matt: Were you trying to pleasure yourself?

Tails: No, suicide.

Matt: You did remember not to make the rope as long as the room is tall, right?

Tails, slapping forehead: MOTHER FUCKING DAMN IT!

Matt: Want to grab some breakfast before attempt number 2?

Tails, rubbing his ass: Yeah, but I think some things in my ass.

Matt: I'm not looking up there.

Suddenly Dr. Nick appeared out of Tails's ass.

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

Matt: LEAVE US THE FUCK ALONE! WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE!

Suddenly Katara busted through the door.

Katara: GET THAT FREAK! HE STOLE MY PANTIES!

Aang: and I wasn't done sniffing them yet!

Everyone looked at the young avatar.

Aang: Uh,... I mean pervert.

Dr. Nick then ran up Katara's pussy.

Katara: AHHHHH!

Matt and Aang: I'll get him!

Katara, slapping them both: PERVERTS!

Katara then reached her hand up her vagina. Matt, Aang, and Tails all had their cocks out masturbating to what was going on, except Tails, his eyes closed, thinking of Sonic in his ass.

Katara, taking her dripping hand out of her cunt: He's gone. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU...oh my.

Katara's eyes where focused on Matt's cock.

Aang, noticing that: Don't fall for it! It's just a trick created by his testicles to seduce you!

Katara, shaking her head: Right... let's go get breakfast, I'm hungry for some meat.

Matt and Aang's eyes light up.

Katara, noticing it: Not like that.

Matt and Aang: Fuck!

At the breakfast table,...

Samus: Im gonna go take a shower.

Mooreluv2006: That's a good idea, I'll take one too.

Pikachu: Jigglypuff, up for another round?

Jigglypuff, pointing to Mooreluv2006: ...

Pikachu: Sucks being only able to talk in song lyrics, doesn't it?

Jigglypuff nodded her head.

Pikachu: Whatever, go take your shower, I'll dirty you up afterwards.

Matt: What is it with chicks an taking showers together?

Aang: I have no idea, but at least Katara's not crazy like that.

Katara: I do feel dirty after feeling myself up this morning.

Aang: FUCK!

Peach: Just to piss Matt off, I'll take one, too! Come slave girl! I need my pussy scrubbed!

Daisy: I told you! I'm a princess! Not a slave girl!

Peach: Uh-hu, sure you are.

Daisy: Fucking cunt!

Peach: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Daisy: Nothing Master! Hey, wait...

Peach: Too late! You already said it!

Daisy: God damn it!

Zelda: ALL THOSE CHICKS! I have to take one, too!

Katara: Ok,.. you want to come Kagome?

Kagome: Ok.

Nana: I want to join in!

Popo: FUCK YEAH!

Nana: You have to wear a blindfold! If you get an erection, I lose my virginity!

Popo: NO FAIR! I've had pubes longer then you, and I've had less sex!

Nana: I can only have it up the ass! You want that?

Popo: Fuck no!

Nana: Then you'll die a virgin!

Popo: I fucking hate my life!

Matt: His life sucks!

Sokka: Yeah, it does.

Matt: HOLY SHIT! SOKKA! WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?

Sokka: I came here when I found out that Aang and Katara were here. I'm gonna be taking the room in between them, to make sure my sister stays a virgin!

Matt and Aang gulped noticing the very sharp boomerang he was holding.

Matt, whispering to Aang: We're screwed.

Aang: Yeah, pretty much.

Matt: Well, since fucking Katara is out of the picture, I'll go take a shower while Samus has the hot water running.

Aang: Three guys in one locker room shower is kind of gay, I'll wait till one of you is done.

Matt: Ok.

Matt then walked away, peverted smile on his face.

Sokka: WHAT THE FUCK DID THE NARRATOR JUST SAY?

Matt, The Narrator: Uh,... Pokemon?

Sokka: Oh, ok.

Matt then walked into the Men's locker room shower.

Matt: What the fuck? Where's Samus? Oh well.

Matt turned on the water, nothing came out.

Matt: Right, middle of the desert, limited amount of water.

Matt then put his ear up against the wall.

Matt: All the water's in the Girls Locker Room.

Matt then got a thought.

Matt: I wonder...

Meanwhile,...

The chicks were finished undressing. They walked in the already running showers, under which was a naked blonde haired chick.

Kagome: Hey you! This shower is for Smashers only! You have to leave!

Popo: Who? I wanna see!

Nana: NO! You get an erection I lose my virginity!

Popo: You had sex with Ryan C-crest last night!

Nana: Yeah, but that was my ass virginity! He would only do me there for some reason. (That was today's cheap shot a Ryan C-crest.)

Naked Blonde Chick: What are you talking about? I am a Smasher.

Mooreluv2006: Really? When did you get here?

Naked Blonde Chick: A couple chapters ago. I'm Samus.

Smasher Chicks: SAMUS IS A GIRL!

Matt: FUCK YEAH!...Ah shit.

Matt looked around to see the angry glances of all the naked Smasher chicks.

Matt: I guess that means no wild lesbian orgy with me at the top?

Smasher Chicks: FUCK NO!

Matt: Shit. I didn't want to have to fight naked chicks, but...

He reached for his katana, but felt nothing.

Matt: Right, naked, no weapons. See ya!

Matt ran out the door with the hoard of naked chicks chasing after him.

Matt, running: I had a dream like this once, but I doubt the ending will be the same.

Matt ran through the kitchen.

Sokka: Dude! Put some fucking clothes on! Where's my sister?

Matt: About 10 feet behind me.

Aang and Sokka looked to see the crowd of naked chicks.

Sokka: Nice! Wait, EEEEWWWW! THAT"S MY SISTERS PUSSY!

Aang: AWESOME! I mean, uh, how dare she run around in public like that!

Sokka: Cut the shit, I see the boner!

Aang: Damn it!

Matt then kept running until all the chicks passed out in exhaustion on the floor.

Matt: Ok! Take your pick!

Sokka: I get Katara!

Smasher Dudes: THAT'S SICK!

Sokka: So, she won't lose her virginity like this!

Katara, whispering to Sokka: Give me to Matt, you fucking gay faggot!

Sokka: Uh, Matt, you have her!

Matt: Fuck Yeah!

Pikachu: I call Jigglypuff!

Inuyasha: Kagome!

Megaman: SAMUS!

Popo: NANA!

Smasher Dudes: So she won't lose her virginity?

Popo: No! She's had a huge rack that I haven't been able look since she hit puberty so she didn't lose her precess virginity! I need sex! NOW!

Sonic: AMY!

Matt: When she get here?

Sonic, picking up Amy's naked body: About around breakfast.

Matt: Ok.

Aang: Mooreluv2006!

Everyone looked at him.

Everyone: Ooookkkkk.

Aang: Whatever, Matt took my girl!

Dr. Mario: Peach!

Mario: Peach! Damn it! Uh,... Daisy!

Yoshi: Birdo!

Matt: Ok! When did Birdo get here?

Sonic: What did you think Amy rode here on?

Matt: God damn it! I'm normally the one that doesn't make any fucking sense!

DK: I say! It is not proper to treat a lady in such a manner!

Matt: Your gonna masturbate to porn aren't you?

DK: ...we call it wanking.

Tails: Uh,... whoever's left.

Matt: Sorry, there are no guys in the pile!

Everyone laughed, except Sonic.

Sonic, yelling: Dudes! He's not fucking gay! Leave him alone!

Matt: You want the last one Mew?

Mewtwo: I want it!

Mew: MEW!

Matt: Why did no one give him a collar?

Pikachu: He said it looked gay.

Matt: That's my Mew!

Matt and Mew then did an incredibly cool handshake that I won't describe because you would probably use it to increase your own awesomeness.

Mew then grabed a blow-up doll.

When all the guys had either a chick or a doll they all went to bed. (I'm only gonna describe Matt, I getting kind of tired of writing.)

Matt put Katara's naked body on his bed.

Matt, examining her perfect body: Man, maybe I shouldn't do this.

Matt then burst out laughing.

Matt: Yeah right!

Matt squeezed her boobs, because that's good luck for no pregnancy, really!

Matt hearing her moan in pleasure: What the fuck?

Katara's eyes opened up.

Katara: Just break the wall and free me! (That means something, figure it out on your own dumbasses!)

Matt: Ok, but your ok with all the rape?

Katara, pointing to his cock: That was enough.

Matt, pointing his cock at her entrance: You ready?

Katara: Have been whole chapter!

Matt, shoving his cock up her vagina, breaking her wall.

Katara: OWWWWWW,... OH FUCK YES! OH GOD! OH, OH, OH! OH YES! Whew, that was good! You done yet?

Matt, humping: On.. RIGHT THERE! ..my THAT'S THE SPOT! ..third time! OH! Done!

Katara, snuggling up to Matt: I love you.

Matt: Whatever.

Katara, shooting him a angry glance: I can hurt your cock in soooo many ways right now.

Matt, worried: I love you, too.

Katara then cuddled up closer to Matt and fell asleep.

Matt, thinking: I wonder how many dudes will wake up to an ass kicking?

Matt then fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say but, REVIEW YOU LAZY BASTERDS! YOUR FUCKING TOO LAZY TO REVIEW! FUCK OFF! I like pie! Meeps! 


	16. Day 16

Matt here: I'm whooping Pat and his pussy-assed story Brawl:my way! Hahahahahaha! I rock! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Zane!

Matt woke up with a naked Katara next to him.

Matt: FUCK YEAH!... Shit, Sokka gonna kick my ass!

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

Matt: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP GETTING INTO MY ROOM? WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?

Dr. Nick then jumped into Matt's dresser.

Matt, taking out a machine gun and putting on a mobster hat: I've got him this time!

Matt the unloaded all of the clips into the dresser, reducing it, and the wall behind it, to ash.

Mewtwo, raping an innocent dog, male dog: Eat my cock, bitch!

Inuyasha, through a mouthful of cock: I fucking hate being human one day a month.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK?

Mewtwo: Uh,... CONFUSION!

Mewtwo then blast a purple light from his eyes, erasing his memory of the last 10 seconds and fixing the wall.

Matt, looking at the obliterated dresser: Damn! Dr. Nick got away!

Katara, just waking up: uh, What?

Matt: Nothing.

Mew suddenly blew the door down with a powerful psychic blast.

Mew, wearing his mobster hat: Mew?

Matt, taking off his hat: No, it's over, buddy.

Mew, looking depressed: Mew.

Matt: Why don't you go get breakfast? I'll be down in 30 minutes.

Mew, fixing the door: Mew.

Katara, rubbing her naked self up against Matt: It's gonna take you 30 minutes to get dressed?

Matt: No, but I feel something wet on my side, and I need some pre-breakfast exercise.

Katara, blushing: Oh, sorry.

Matt: Less talky, more fucky.

Matt jumped on top of Katara and started humping his ball off.

Katara: OH YES! FUCK YES! OH, OH, OOOHHHH! OH, GOD YES!

Sokka suddenly walked into Matt's room.

Katara: OOOHHH GGOODD YYEESS! I love you, Matt.

Matt, scared shitless: I love you, too.

Sokka: WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SISTER?

Matt: Fucked her 7 different ways in one night.

Sokka: WHAT?

Matt: Uh, I mean, hugged her 7 different times last night?

Sokka: Oh, ok then.

Sokka then left for breakfast.

Matt: Man, Sokka's a fucking moron!

Katara: Yeah, but he's my brother.

Matt: Yeah, let's go get breakfast.

Matt and Katara walked down to breakfast.

Matt: What the fuck happened here?

Matt looked around to see all the guys except Sokka have black eyes.

Katara: That's a lot of rape.

Smasher Chicks: What the fuck? Why didn't you pelt him one? That was the whole point of this!

Katara: He's well hung.

Smasher Chicks: ... Good point.

Sokka: What does his cock have to do with hugging?

Matt: She meant my... uh... le... arms! Yeah, arms, that's right.

Sokka: I'm on to you Matt.

Zach then ran into the room, kicked Sokka in the nuts and disappeared into thin air.

Matt, The Author: Who the hell let my little brother in this story?

Mel, The Security Guard: Sorry, I was watching The Simpsons.

Matt, The Author: Didn't I replace you with a robot?

Mel, The Security Guard: DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Mel then blew up into a million sparking pieces.

Matt: Oookkk. When's my match?

Master Hand: Uh,... match?

Matt: You're not master hand! You're a boot!

A giant shoe was floating in Master Hand's chair.

Master Hand: Mutated Hand! What are you doing here?

Mutated Hand, running away: Wahhhhhhhhhhh!

Master Hand: Whatever. Matt, your up against... Aang.

Matt: Hey Aang! Want to make a wager?

Aang: What?

Matt: Whoever wins gets to fuck Katara.

Aang: FUCK YEAH!

Katara: Who said your getting any more tonight to gamble with!

Sokka: MORE!

Katara: I mean,... TAILS RAPED ME! WAHHHHHHHH!

Sonic: DUDE! AWESOME!

Sokka: Don't lie to me! Everyone knows that Tails is gay.

Katara: I want to fight Sokka!

Master Hand: Whatever.

Matt was then teleported to a cloud, a.k.a. Aang's Airfield.

Aang, airbending: Haha! Easy win!

Matt, grabbing a pokeball while falling: I hope this works. GO! HOVERBOARD!

A hoverboard came out of the pokeball, which Matt got on.

Adam Sesler: We're here at Aang's Airfield. How this is fair, I have no idea!

Lemon Demon: I WILL RAPE YOU IN THE EYE!

Adam Sesler: WHAT?

Lemon: ...

Adam Sesler: Oookkkk. Let the match begin!

Aang then shot a few airblast, which Matt countered with tequila shots.

Aang: Whoah. I'm , hiccup, wasted.

Matt: My work here is done.

Matt then jumped off his hoverboard.

Audience: What the fuck?

Adam Sesler: I..looks like... Matt lost?

Lemon: ...

Aang was teleported back to the Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt: Congratulations Aang! You unlocked Roy!

Aang, grabbing Katara: Whatever.

Aang then went to his room to take his prize.

Matt: Everyone's happy!

Roy: How are you happy? You lost.

Matt: Aang's gonna get his ass kicked by Sokka, not me, for taking her virginity.

Roy: You're a sick maniacal basterd, you know that, right?

Matt: I take pride in my work.

Matt then went to bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say, but REVIEW YOU PUSSY-ASSED WEAKLINGS! Or do you want to be confused with Pat? I like pie! Meeps! 


	17. Day 17

Matt here: I wrote another chapter, unlike my fat ass lazy friend Pat! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Trusedal!

Matt awoke to a very loud ass kicking next door.

Matt: What the fuck?

Matt then looked out his door to see Sokka swinging his boomerang at Aang.

Sokka: YOU FUCKING TOOK MY SISTERS VIRGINITY!

Aang, hiding behind some earthbending walls: I'm sorry!

Sokka: I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Katara: You can't do that! He's our last hope for destroying the fire nation!

Sokka: ...

Aang, sad: ... That's the only reason he can't kill me?

Katara: N0! 1 m3an, uh, 1 luv u!

Sokka: Y 7h3 h3ll r w3 7alkn 1n 1337?

Matt: I don't know what your talking about!

Katara: D1d u pr3s 7h3 1337 bu770n?

Matt: NO!

Sokka: UR A FUCKING L13R!

Matt, holding the universal remote: Sorry

Aang: Pr3s 17, b4 1 k1ck ur ass!

Matt, pressing the button: Yeah, this is pretty annoying.

Roy: Why the hell did you do that?

Matt: I don't know, maybe to piss the readers off.

Roy: That's not a good reason! It pisses us off!

Matt: Fine. I'll make it up to you by talking in L1t.

Smashers: FOR GOD'S SHAKE, NO!

Matt: 0k. How 'bout I make everyone milkshakes?

Smashers: Ok then. We'll be watching the big game.

Matt: Football or Baseball?

Smashers: ... No, Kush-Lash.

Matt: SWEET!

Smashers: No! Not until we get our milkshakes!

Matt, snapping his fingers: Oh man! (Yes, I watch Dora the Explorer, want to make something about it?)

Matt then went into the kitchen.

Matt: Ok, got vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce, cups, and... shit!

Matt then noticed an empty milk carton.

Matt: Damn! What else is white and a liquid? ...

Matt then smiled.

Matt: ... GLUE!

Matt, realizing how retarded that was: ... How about my cum?

Matt then filled the glasses with his "creamy white liquid" and put the ice cream and chocolate sauce in it.

Matt, carrying the glasses: Hey everybody, milkshakes!

Smashers, grabbing their shakes: Whatever.

Matt: What's the score?

Roy: It's the 9th round and Red has 27 points, and Blue has 23.

Matt: Damn, I thought Green was playing today?

Roy: Nah, that's Friday's game.

Matt: Ok, so...

The Smashers then took a drink from their shakes.

Katara, Mooreluv2006, and Kagome: THIS IS DELICIOUS!

Mewtwo and Tails: It's got such a tasty salt flavor!

Mario: It-a almost taste-a like...

Megaman: Something from Nintendo University.

Samus: I know, it taste just like seamen! ...wait

Katara, Mooreluv2006, Kagome, and Tails immediately finished their shakes. Mewtwo secretly drank the rest of his. The rest of them vomited it out.

Mario: Why-a the fuck did-a you do that?

Matt: 1.) You made me miss the Kush-Lash game. And 2.) We're out of milk.

Megaman: NO WERE NOT! WE HAD THREE FULL CARTONS! THEY WERE IN THE FRIDGE THIS MORNING!

Matt: Ohhh. Milk is in the fridge?

Megaman: If you didn't go in the fridge, what was the ice cream?

At that moment, Sokka came down the stairs, pulling up his pants.

Sokka: Man, whatever you do, don't eat medical waste and wash it down with bleach! It gives you acidic white creamy shit that eats through the floor of the bathroom and falls in the kitchen!

Smashers: OH FUCK! EWWW!

Megaman: What was the chocolate sauce?

Matt: Oh, it was made by Hershey.

Smashers: HERSHEY!

All of the Smashers immediately vomited all over the room until they passed out.

Matt, stepping over puke puddles and passed out bodies: Serves them right for making me miss my game!

Matt then went to bed and fell asleep.

* * *

I know! That chapter was disgusting! Hershey chocolate sauce! That stuff taste like diarreha! Also, REVIEW YOU LAZY ASS PIECE OF SHIT READERS! I like pie! Meeps! 


	18. Day 18

Matt here: I'm unlocking a shitload of charecters in this chapter, so you might want to get a notepad. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off My good twin!

Matt awoke to the sound of... never mind, he woke up normally today. My bad.

Matt, looking to his side: ...Right, didn't have sex last night.

Matt then went down to breakfast.

Matt: Hey people, what's up?

Mario: We are-a still pissed at-a you-a!

Matt: That was last chapter! Get over it, you fucking pussys!

Sokka: SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!

Matt: Who the hell gave him cactus juice?

Katara: Yeah, it calms him down. He's still pissed that Aang fucked me.

Matt: Whatever. I didn't ask for your life's story! Bitch!

Katara: Yes master,... hey wait...

Matt: Too late! You already said it!

Katara: God damn mother fucker!

Megaman, coming down the stairs: I didn't mean too!

Samus, also coming down: So now you didn't mean to love me!

Megaman: NO! I thought you would like it up the blaster!

Samus: So now I'm a whore?

Megaman: NO! You hardly ever put out!

Samus, crying: So now I don't provide for your needs?

Megaman: NO!

Megaman, talking to Matt: For god's shake, HELP ME!

Matt: Sorry, you were screwed the second you started talking!

Megaman: WHY?

Matt: Your up against a chick, she won't back down!

Megaman: PLEASE!

Matt: I'm not getting involved! Your best bet is just to admit she's right, no matter how wrong she is!

Megaman: She said that Tails is strait.

Matt, yelling at Samus: YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARDED BITCH!

Samus: WHAT?

Matt: YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARDED BITCH!

Samus: Oh, ok. That's what I thought you said.

Megaman: How the hell did you get away with that?

Matt then snapped his fingers, causing a rift in the space time continuum to appear out of nowhere. Pat the Snorlax jumped out.

Pat, waving his hand,... uh paw/claw thing: MAGIC!

Pat then jumped back in the hole.

Matt: WHO THE FUCK LET THAT OUTSIDER IN?

Mel The Security Guard: Sorry, I was watching Futurama.

Matt: Weren't you watching Simpsons last time?

Mel: Simpsons is for humans, Futurama is for robots!

Matt: Aren't you a human?

Mel: DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Mel's head then blew up into bloody chunks.

Megaman: How the fuck did that happen?

Matt: Do I have to snap my fingers again?

Megaman: NO!

Samus: Come boy! Mommy has something for you to "eat".

Megaman, now on a leash for some reason: BARK!

Samus and Megaman then went to Samus's room to sin against god.

Matt: Whelp, I'm going to the game room.

Mario: We-a have a game room-a?

Matt: Yeah, Master Hand talked about it when he upgraded the house last time.

Mario: Right...-a.

Mewtwo: I want to come!

Mew: MEW!

Kirby: Video games! Fuck yeah, mo fo!

Pikachu: YEAH!

Jigglypuff: It's raining men!

Everyone starred at her.

Pikachu: That didn't even fit right!

Jigglypuff: Oops, I did it again!

Pichu: SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU STAYING BEHIND!

The rest of the Smashers left to the game room.

Jigglypuff, being left behind: Lonely, I am so lonely!

The Smashers were at the game room door, which was a giant stone doorway with a diamond lock on it.

Mario: How-a the hell are we-a supposed to get in there-a?

Matt, taking out his katana: Just watch!

Matt then focused his energy into the katana, turning it into a keyblade, which he bashed against the lock until it broke.

Pikachu: Why didn't you just use the keyblade to open the lock?

Matt: Because,... Where the fuck are Mewtwo and Mew?

Mewtwo, playing a pokemon machine: We teleported in about 5 minutes ago.

Matt: Whatever.

Matt and Mario then played Super Mario Brothers.

Mario: How-a come I don't get-a to play as myself-a?

Matt: I'm always Mario!

Mario: LUIGI SUCKS ASS!

Suddenly, the green sprite on the screen turned toward the screen and flipped Mario off.

Luigi: Fuck-a you! You fucking retard-a!

Luigi jumped out of the machine and knocked out Mario.

Luigi: When do I get my room?

Matt: Uh,... go ask Mooreluv2006. She's the bitch me normally stick with the shit we don't want to do.

Luigi, leaving: Whatever...-a.

Mewtwo: Uh, Matt, something's up!

Suddenly, Lucario jumped out of the pokemon machine.

Lucario: Thou shall not enslave me! I shall be my own lord!

Mewtwo, teleporting: Whatever, I'm gonna masturbate to yaoi,... I mean yuri!

Mew: MEW!

Mr. T jumped out of "Mr. T's Island Adventure" that Mew was playing, he then totally pwned Bender who had come out of the Futurama machine Pikachu and Pichu were playing.

Kirby: At least my game isn't wiggity, wiggity, wack! Yo!

Suddenly, Hello Kitty jumped out of the machine Kirby was playing. Everyone starred at him.

Kirby: Uh,... how the fuck did Hello Kitty get into,... uh,... Joe Kickass 3?

Matt: No one's buying that shit!

Kirby: ... I fucking hate you mo fos! I'm going to go to bed!

Kirby then ran to bed.

Matt: This is one fucking big ass mess! I'm gonna go to bed!

Matt then went up to bed, he was about to go to sleep, when...

Dr. Nick, appearing in front of the door: Hi everybody!

Matt: FUCK! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN HERE?

Wind Waker Link: Argh! Be getting him! Shiver me timbers!

Matt and WW. Link chased after Dr. Nick into the bathroom. Dr. Nick then jumped in the toilet, flushed it, and went down the pipes.

WW. Link: We have him now!

WW. Link then jumped into the toilet, flushed it, and got his shoes all wet because all he did was clog it.

WW. Link: God damn it!

Matt: Whatever, I'm going to bed.

Matt then walked out.

WW. Link: Hey wait! I'm stuck and I can't get out! Come on! Come back! Please!

Matt then went to bed and fell asleep.

* * *

Nothing much to say but REVIEW! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT READERS WHO ARE TOO FUCKING LAZY TO FUCKING REVIEW! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? I like pie! Meeps! 


	19. Day 19

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off... I'm out of names.

Matt awoke to the sound of a squabble downstairs. He walked downstairs to check it out.

Mooreluv2006: You don't belong here!

Hello Kitty: I'm sorry I cut your vagina when you were 3! Your not supposed to shove my toys up there!

Mooreluv2006: There's only one way to settle this!

Hello Kitty: CATFIGHT!

Pat: Whoooh!

The Predator immediately shoved Pat the Snorlax into a cage.

Pat: No fair! I want out! Send me back to the pokemon universe!

Matt: NO! You fuck with this story too much to be set free! Besides, a catfight between Mooreluv and Hello Kitty would be fucking sick! Dumbass!

Pat, shuddering at the thought: Uh, your right.

Matt: We'll settle this like the man Mooreluv probably is! With a Kush-Lash game!

Hello Kitty, crawling up Mooreluv's vagina: That means I'm in a...

Matt: Right, a man-gina!

Hello Kitty: Awesome! I get tp have lesbian sex, but still considered strait!

Matt: Whatever. TO THE OUTSIDE PLACE!

All of the Smashers went out back to the Kush-Lash field.

Matt: Ok, Mooreluv2006, here's the Nerf football.

Mooreluv prepared her first throw when a space ship crashed into her and went up her vagina.

Mooreluv2006: AHHHHH! YES!

It was then that Invader Zim, GIR, Yoda, Luke Skywalker, and Darth Vader crawled out of her vagina.

Mooreluv2006, now naked on the grass: OH! OH! OH! YYEESS!

All five of them were immediately flushed out of there on a wave of clear liquid.

Lucario: THOU ART WITCHS!

Darth Vader: I...'m... not even... supposed to...be alive!

Matt: Pat, pleas explain it to him!

Pat, waving his paw: Magic!

Ness suddenly appeared.

Pat: Opps.

Matt: Awesome! We're one character away form an upgrade!

Matt looked toward the door. Aquaman suddenly burst through.

Aquaman: Nuna, nuna, nuna, nuna. Nuna, nuna, nuna, nuna. AQUAMAN! AQUAMAN!

Matt: What the fuck? Isn't that Batman's theme song?

Aquaman: Ah poopy!

Matt, taking out his katana: FUCK NO! WE ALREADY DID THIS JOKE!

Matt then sliced the plastic goggles off the giant glove. He then blew Retarded Hand up with his magical powers!

Mooreluv2006: What the fuck? You didn't use magical powers, you just kicked him in his nuts. How you found nuts on a glove, I'll never know.

Matt, The Author: Shut the fuck up Mooreluv! No one likes you!

Mooreluv2006, crying: Tails's raped me!

Matt, stabbing her in the stomach: CRYING DOESN'T FUCKING WORK ON ME BITCH!

Mooreluv2006, bleeding out of her gut: What the fuck?

Matt, The Author: Back to the story!

The white glove was laying on the floor. And King Boo floated out of it.

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK?

King Boo: That's right, there never was a Retarded Hand, it was me all along.

Master Hand: But were cousins, you were at my house all the time.

King Boo: Yeah, I just fucked your mom. I'm your real father.

Master Hand: But I had a father, he was a giant glove, too. He raped me up the ass. I shove potatoes up my ass to remember him!

King Boo: ... You mean Ryan C-crest? Yeah, he snuck into the house a lot.

Master Hand: NOOOOOO!

Master Hand then disapeered into thin air.

King Boo: Ok then,... Where's my room?

Matt: I'll show you after dinner. It's Ramen!

King Boo: I love Ramen!

Ray: I do to!

Matt: Ray? When did you get here?

Ray: I came with them.

Ray pointed to Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke.

Naruto: Where's that Ramen?

Matt: Uh... there. So Ray, why are you in my story?

Ray: Because..

Darth Vader: Hey wait,... YOU'RE THE GUY WHO STOLE MY CHICKENS!

Ray: Ah shit!

(Insert Benny Hill music.)

Darth Vader chased after Ray waving his lightsaber at him, but Ray blocked by throwing chickens.

Darth Vader, doing Cabbage Merchant fall: My Chickens!

(Stop Benny Hill music.)

Ray: Well, I ruined someone's day! Time for bed!

Ray then went to bed. Matt then ate his ramen and also went to bed.

Matt, thinking: This fucking place better be upgraded, SOON!

Matt then fell asleep.

* * *

Matt here: I'm just gonna say, enjoy the randomness while it last, sadley I'm gonna have to add a plot in the next few chapters so I can wrap this story up and focus on my digimon story. (And **_MAYBE_** a 2nd chapter for Rising Zu.) Anyway, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	20. Day 20

Matt here: Just saying Merry Friday the 13th if I get this posted before midnight. Also, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off 4Kids!

Matt awoke to the sound of German swearing.

Matt: Mr. Gibson's here? (Note: Mr. Gibson is my Gym teacher who looks exactly like Hitler, just ask Pat.)

Matt then walked downstairs to see a fox, falcon, cat, and toad walking upright.

Matt: What the fuck?

Fox: And then I said to them, that's not a midget hooker, it's a regular one!

Everyone gave him a pathetic pity laugh.

Slippy: That sucked! Your fucking retarded!

Smashers: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SLIPPY!

Krystal, ripping off her top: I brought the titties!

DK, covering Ness's eyes: I say! This is quiet inappropriate for a child to see!

Falco: Ya! Ye stupid whore! Das is not good fer de kinder's eyes!

Matt: Oh! German words make head hurt!

Katara, Kagome, Zelda, Peach, Daisy, and Samus all ran up to Matt and rubbed his cock.

Matt: Ok, I like this, but I want breakfast, so I'll fuck the cat-chick!

Krystal: Awesome! Fox's have too small of cocks for me!

Matt then grabbed Krystal and took her up to his room to fuck her dry.

Meanwhile,...

Link: Uh, Zelda, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I want ... to... ah... fuck you.

Zelda: I, like, love fucking men!

Link and Zelda went up to her room. Link slowly removed Zelda's dress to find out that she had the triforce tattooed on her so that the empty triangle had her entrance in the middle.

Link: Oh, how badly I want to be the guy that did that!

Zelda: You like it? Like, Ganondorf did it!

Link, pulling down his pants: Ah fuck!

Zelda let out a little giggle at the sight of Link's penis.

Zelda, thinking: Matt's was 3 times as big, but maybe size doesn't matter. (HHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH! Yeah right, I crack myself up sometimes.)

Link stuck it inside her and humped his lights out for about 3 seconds, cummed, and fell asleep.

Zelda: What the fuck? I didn't even feel anything! Maybe only Matt was that good, but he's busy with the new slut on the block. That's it! I'm switching to chicks!

Meanwhile,...

Matt: SWEET!

Krystal: I told you girl's cum tasted that way!

Matt, moving his mouth off her pussy: Now for some real fucking!

Matt then shoved his cock up her and started humping.

Meanwhile,...

Sonic, his cock up Amy's pussy: Dude! Tails! Getting to fuck Amy was so much easier after you said that it be a three-way.

Tails, masturbating to Sonic's naked body: Yeah,... your..uh...right.

Sonic, humping Amy: Dude! Join the party!

Tails: Pshaw! If you insist!

Tails then shoved his cock up Sonic's ass and started humping.

Sonic: WHOA! DUDE! If I wasn't fucking stoned right now, I'd swear you were fucking me up the ass!

Tails, humping: Quite my love.

Sonic: WHAT THE FUCK?

Tails: I mean,... uh,... Snorlax?

Sonic and Amy: What the fuck?

Sonic and Amy both fainted from being to fucked to hard. Tails then raped Sonic.

Meanwhile,...

Zelda: Hey! I'm having a slumber party for all the girls!

Matt, cock still in Krystal running down the stairs: All girl slumber party?

Zelda: Your, like, not invited!

Matt, snapping fingers: Oh man!

Later that night in Zelda's room, which had grown 10 times it's original size for some reason...

Zelda, in triforce patterned pajamas: Let the lesbian slumber party begin!

Kagome, in her normal pajamas: Lesbian?

Zelda: Uh,... pump up the tunes Jigglypuff!

Jigglypuff: Let's get this party started!

Nana: Was that a song?

Jigglypuff then grabbed Nana and shoved her into a rocket which blew up in the back yard.

Jigglypuff: of my Phantom Lullaby.

Mooreluv2006, slapping Jigglypuff: That song doesn't exist until Matt, The Author, bless the very crap he writes, makes the 3rd chapter of Rising Zu.

Kagome: Did he just write in an add for his own story in your dialogue?

Moorluv2006: Yeah, what the fuck?

Katara: Yeah, he's full of himself.

Zelda, now naked: Who wants to rub my cunt?

Smashettes: Fuck yeah!

The rest of the night was filled was a giant lesbian orgy. Matt fell asleep in the middle because no one noticed the new girl "Matt-y" and the fact that she lacked boobs and a vagina and had a huge penis.


	21. Day 21

Matt here: That's right 58 F-bombs in one chapter! FUCK YEAH! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Popo! You'll get lines when I tell you ,too!

This chapter is in memory of my imaginary friend Popo, a green dog, who was hit by a bus outside my house.

Matt awoke to German swearing.

Matt: You already did that.

Matt, the Author: Shit.. How about an explosion?

Matt: Did it.

Matt, the Author: Shit! How about...

Matt: Screw it! You're a no talent hack! Why any loser would even read your stories, I don't know!

Matt, the Author, satanic tone, suddenly growing 70ft, and fire appearing in the background: THAT'S IT! YOU'VE DEFIED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! YOUR TOTALLY FUCKED! I'M GONNA DO IT!

Matt, scared shitless: YOU WOULDN'T!

Matt, the Author: I'M ADDING A PLOT! Next chapter through, I'm lazy.

Matt: SO, how am I going to wake up?

Matt, the Author, still pissed: How do you think?

Matt: Fuck!

Matt awoke to a naked, cum covered Zelda screaming.

Zelda: THERE'S A NAKED GUY IN HERE!

Matt: Uh,... RUN!

Matt then ran for his life while he took out a controller and pressed the Y button a few times, changing into his normal costume.

Matt, after a while, was cornered in the living room.

Mario: What-a the fuck-a?

Samus: Seriously! You fucking crashed a girl's slumber party!

Zelda: A fucking lesbian slumber party!

Peach: What the fuck were you thinking?

Matt: At the moment, that I fucking hate the author!

Daisy: Well the fucking author isn't fucking here right now! So fucking deal with it!

Matt: I'm fucking sorry! DK! Vouch for me!

DK, covering Diddy's, Bowser Jr.'s, and Ness's ears: I say old bean! You fucking crashed a sex party! What kind of fucking example are you setting for the children!

Falco: Ya! Vat de fuke! You are a fukking assvipe!

Fox: Yeah! You're a fucking pervert!

Slippy: Yeah! What the fuck, Matt?

Smashers: SHUT THE FUCK UP SLIPPY!

Matt, begging: Everyone's fucking against me! Help me, Krystal!

Krystal: You fucking perv!

Matt: Katara? You fucking believe me right?

Katara, turning up her nose: Fuck you! Fucking Pervert!

Aang, blocking Matt's view: You fucking heard the woman!

Sokka: I never fucking trusted you!

Pat: Matt, what the fuck? That's even fucking low for you!

Ray: Yeah, you fucking pervert!

Darth Vader: You are no longer fucking allowed on the Dark side!

Luke: You were never welcome on the fucking Light side!

Yoda: Fucking saddened, I am at you!

Invader Zim: You fucking sex-crazed human!

Jigglypuff: What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? (I have a song with those words.)

Pikachu: You used to be my fucking hero.

Pichu: Why, Matt? Why the fuck did you betray my trust?

King Boo: I find what you did offensive to perverted ghost everywhere!

Amy: WHY HAVEN'T I HAD ANY FUCKING LINES YET?

Sonic: Dude, Amy's fucking right! You are a pervert!

Matt: That's not what she said!

Tails: SHUT THE FUCK UP, FUCKTARD!

Matt just starred in shock.

Matt: TAILS GOT FUCKING LAID!

Tails: Yup! Fucked Sonic up the ass!

Roy: You are a fucking disgrace!

Marth: Yes! Exactly what he fucking said!

Mewtwo: I'm sorry, but I never liked you fucking chicks!

Matt: Mewtwo! ... Since when are you fucking pink?

Mewtwo: Since I came out of the fucking closet with Tails!

Matt: WHAT THE FUCK?

Link: That's not the problem! You're a fucking pervert!

WW. Link: Argh! It not be cool to fucking keelhaul an all chick party! Shiver me timbers!

Matt: Do you even know what keelhaul means?

Megaman:... (Megaman was not available for filming because he was asking for too much money. Fucking R-tard)

Ganondorf: How dare you fucking try and rape Zelda? That's my job!

Yoshi: Fuck you pervert!

Birdo: Whatever the fuck he said!

Kirby: WHAT THE FUCK, MOTHER FUCKER!

Mooreluv2006: That's fucking it, Matt! We're fucking through!

Matt: We were never going out.

Mooreluv then ran up to her room crying.

Mr. Game & Watch: Beep... Beep... Beep!

Matt: Can he talk?

Goku: Fuck no!

Captain Falcon: CAPTAIN FALCON!

Fred Fred Burger: I found the nachos!

Suddenly, a group of Censorbots crashed through the wall.

Censorbots: That's it! You dropped 58 F-bombs in this chapter alone!

Matt: Didn't I kill you guys in the Teletubbie universe?

Censorbots: No!

Matt: You dirty 0000!

Peach: What the 0000? He only said liar!

Censorbots: Uh, die!

The Censorbots shot lasers out of their eyes at the Smashers.

Samus: This is all you fault, 0000!

Matt: What? She just said my name?

Matt then took out his katana and killed all of the Censorbots by kicking them in the nuts.

Matt: Now for bed, since everyone has forgiven me!

Smashers: No ones forgiven you!

Matt, waving his hand: You have all forgotten what happened!

Smashers: We have all forgotten what happened!

Matt: All the chicks love me!

Smashettes: We do not!

Matt: Worth a shot. You will all go to bed!

Smashers: We will all go to bed!

The Smashers then went to bed, except Luke Skywalker, Yoda, and Darth Vader.

Matt: Right, Jedis, that doesn't work on you. Just a sec.

Matt took out that cool MIB thing that makes people forget in a flash of red light. Matt put a pair of shades on.

Matt, pressing the button: Say Cheese!

In a flash of light, the Jedis forgot and went to bed. Matt was climbing up the stairs when he saw Nana crying, NOT CONNECTED TO POPO!

Matt: What the hell happened?

Nana, between the tears: POPO DIED!

Matt: And you didn't?

Nana: No, we were fucking in the middle of the road, because Popo was a horny son of a bitch! Then a bus came down a flattened him on the road, while I was knocked aside.

Matt: Well, the best cure for a cold is a GOOD HARD FUCKING!

Nana: I don't have a cold.

Matt didn't care, as he had already brought Nana up to his room, stripped her, and started humping by the time he said that. Matt fell asleep a couple hours after Nana had run out of stamina.

* * *

Why did they have to kill Popo? Why god? WHY? Also, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	22. Day 22

Matt here: Uh, this is the last chapter of randomness. The plot's coming in next chapter, so say goodbye and pay your respects. I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

This chapter is dedicated to my imagenary friend Susie, who I killed in a bloody rampage, after she decided to get anti-brest implants. Ungratful bitch! How dare she reject what I have given her? ... I know, I have problems. 

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Pat! Update for Jebus's sake!

Matt awoke to Nana's sobbing.

Matt, slowly walking down stairs: This is why I don't fuck depressed chicks.

Matt then went downstairs, following a good smell. He was about to see what it was when he was confronted by GIR, Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Naruto: Why didn't any of us have lines last chapter?

Matt: Because The Author forgot!

GIR: Let's make biscuits!

Peach, standing over a pot: Sure! They'll taste great with this stew!

GIR, wagging his tail: YAY!

Matt, smelling the pot: The smell's great! What kind of stew is it?

Peach: I made it from some skinny ass animal I found in that cage over there.

Matt: What ca... NO!

Matt noticed the empty cage that had held Pat.

Matt, gulping down the stew: Oh well.

Suddenly, a snorlax ghost appeared.

Pat: Hey, what's up?

Matt: GHOST!

Matt then created a giant wormhole and shoved the ghost inside. Pat ended up right next to a crying, half-pregnant Misty.

Pat: Semi-sweet!

Matt: Ok, time for the main storyline of this chapter, three... two... one... now.

Zelda, coming down the stairs: I've got good news! I'm switching back to men!

Link, WW. Link, and Ganondorf: FUCK YEAH!

Link's Fairy, snapping fingers: Oh man!

Zelda, cunt vibrating: Uh, I... gotta take a shit!

Zelda ran off to the bathroom. Suddenly a bus pulled up in front of the house.

Matt: NEW CHICK!

Matt ran outside to see the bus's door open. Then a dude steeped out wearing grey.

Matt, snapping fingers: Oh man!

Sheik: Hi! I'm Sheik!

Matt: Whatever, Zelda can show you your room.

Sheik: Uh,... Zelda, right. I'll just, uh, watch TV.

Matt: Your right! Dora the Explorers on!

Sheik: What?

Matt: All the cool people watch Dora!

Sheik: If you say so...

Matt and Sheik sat down on the couch.

Matt: Hey! Dora's on!

Link, Ganondorf, WW. Link, Kagome, Aang, Katara, Yoda, Inuyasha, Pikachu, Naruto, Sokka, Kirby, Mario, Peach, GIR, King Boo, Mewtwo, and Lucario ran down the stairs and sat on the couch.

Dora: Boots! Let's find a condom! Can you say condom?

Boots: Say condom! Say condom!

Smashers: Condom!

Dora: That's right! I think one's in my backpack!

Boots: Say backpack! Say backpack!

Smashers: Backpack!

Dora's Backpack: Hey everyone! Which one is the condom? Is it the sexy cat costume, the high-powered vibrator, or the condom?

Smashers: The condom! You fucking moron!

Dora: Yay! The condom! Let's commit bestiality!

Boots: Yay!

Dora and Boots then had hot monkey sex. The ending credits went by.

Matt: How the hell did Nick Jr. allow this on the air?

Peach: I don't know, but lunch is ready!

Matt: FOOD!

Matt knocked out the other contestants on the way to the pizza Peach had made.

Later,...

Link, eating pizza: If I didn't know better, I'd say Sheik was a chick.

Link's Fairy: NO DIP, YOU FUCKING R-TARD!

Link: How do you know?

Link's Fairy, blushing: You can tell by her various... features.

Link, reebering Sheik's man chest and crotch buldge: I don't know.

Sheik, skipping by, hands swaying from hip to hip: Tra-la-la! Time to go shopping!

Matt, getting up: I'll settle this!

Matt got up and ripped off Sheiks top, revealing two huge tits.

Matt: HOLY FUCK!

Sheik: That's right, I'm Zelda.

Matt slowly reached out and poked Sheik's tit.

Matt: Poke

Sheik/Zelda: YOU FUCKING PERVERT!

Zelda slammed Matt with the triforce, sending him through the roof, into his room, where he fell uncincious.

* * *

What I didn't end the chapter? Yes I did! Now just review lik good mindless slaves! I like pie! Meeps! 


	23. Day 23

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off gkcouch!

Matt awoke to voices around him.

Kagome: How hard di you hit him, Zelda? He's been out all night!

Zelda: He touched my tit!

Kagome: He poked it slightly. That doesn't give you the right to launch him half-way through the ceiling!

Zelda: I'm sorry!

Kagome: He might be dead!

Matt, pulling the other half of his body through the hole: I'm alright.

Kagome: Oh thank god! Now to have hot crazy sex!

Matt: YAYZORZ!

Pat, fat-kid not Snorlax: Hey! That's my wor...

Suddenly, Dr. Nick ran through the room, wearing cleats, and trampled Pat into a bloody pulp.

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

Katara: Get him! He stole my panties!

Everyone then ran after Dr. Nick, leaving Matt lonely.

Matt: I fucking hate that guy!

Matt then went down to the library.

Matt: Hey, what up.

Dr. Mario: Dr. Nick steal the pussy?

Matt: WHAT? I can't just come down here to learn?

Everyone there burst out in laughter.

Matt: Yeah, I hate that guy. Where's Mewtwo?

DK: He's in the back, near queer interest.

Matt: Thought so.

Matt then walked over to Mewtwo.

Matt: Hey Mewtwo, what up?

Mewtwo, now even pinker: Mewtwo, Mewtoo!

Matt: What the hell?

Matt then took out a shotgun and blew Mewtwo's head off, blood staining the wall behind him.

DK: What the bloody hell? I thought you weren't killing people in this story?

Matt: I found out that I had too many characters, so I'm killing a bunch of them off.

Matt then looked at Mewtwo's headless body, which was getting pinker.

Dr. Mario: What the hell? That shouldn't be happening until his bowels empty!

Mewtwo's ass then shot out a stream of brown and, disgusting, white liquid. The remaining lump of flesh then formed into a pink blob with eyes.

Ditto: Ditto, dit, dit!

Matt, unsheathing his right arm: AHHHH! A DEMON! WIND TUNNEL!

Matt then sucked up the Ditto into his arm. Inuyasha then burst through the door.

Inuyasha: Did I just hear Miroku?

Matt: God damn it, Inuyasha!

Matt the took out his katana and stabbed Inuyasha in the crotch.

Matt, brushing off hands: That's one less fucking character to deal with.

Inuyasha, holding his bleeding crotch: Ow! I'm not dead! You just stabbed me in my balls!

Matt then ripped off Inuyasha's head, allowing the blood to shower all over himself.

Kagome, running into the room: Inuyasha, want to do me doggie style... WHAT THE FUCK?

Kagome then saw Inuyasha's corpse on the blood.

Kagome: INUYASHA!

Matt: Kagome? Oh man!

Matt then put on a green cap with a "L" on it.

Kagome: What the fuck is that for?

Matt: LUIGI PUNCH!

Matt then punched KAgome in the stomach, causing her to explode into green fire and blood. Luigi then burst through the door.

Luigi: Who-a used my move-a?

Matt: God damn it! Dragon Fireball Jutsu!

Matt then did a bunch of hand signs and shoot a huge fireball ou of his mouth, burning Luigi to a crisp. Sasuke then burst through the window.

Sasuke: Which one of you losers used my move?

Matt: I did.

Matt then took out a giant axe and sliced Sasuke in half.

Marth: Who used a weapon that has nothing to do with my game what so ever?

Matt, while chopping Marth's head off: You've got to be fucking kidding me! This chapter was just about me killing off a bunch of characters? What the fuck does that have to do with a plot?

Matt, the Author: This!

Meanwhile,...

Ganondorf: And then I said, that's not a werewolf it's my...

Ganondorf was immediately teleported away in a flaming cloud of cheezy poofs.

Link: That was weird.

Falco: Ya!

Back at the library,...

Matt: That makes perfect sense!

Dr. Mario: I know!

DK: Jolly good answer, jolly good!

Matt: Well, I'm going to bed.

Matt then went up to his room and fell asleep.

* * *

I know, there wasn't any real plot in that, next chapter, I promise! Also, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps! 


	24. Day 24

Matt here. The plot starts now! Enjoy! Also, REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Bizarro World! You suck!

Matt awoke to his morning wood.

Matt: Can't start the day without waxing my morning wood!

Suddenly, a flash if grey light filled the room.(what, you've never seen grey light? Well, shut up!) A person steeped out of the portal, which looked exactly like Matt.

Stranger: No! Your not doing that joke! Or any joke what so ever!

Matt: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Stranger: I'm you, except serious!

Matt: GASP! YOU MONSTER!

Serious Matt: That's exactly what I mean!

Matt: No! This is in humor! I'LL NEVER BE SERIOUS!

Matt then shoot Serious Matt with a rocket launcher, blowing his guts sky high.

Matt: FUCK! I just killed myself! Won't that create a paradox?

Megaman: Nah, this is only a story, not real life.

Matt, wiping his forehead: Whew! Time for breakfast!

Matt and Megaman were going down the stairs when a wormhole opened right above the mini-mansion, teleporting all the Smashers outside a giant grey castle with statues of Bowser all over the place.

Slippy: I wonder where we are?

Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SLIPPY!

Bowser Jr.: Why are we at papa's castle?

Bowser Jr. was the teleported in front of everyone.

Matt: Anyway, how are we gonna get past the lava mote?

Samus: I have an idea!

Samus the took her top off.

Samus: Hey mote! Could you take your coffee break?

Mote: Anything for you hot stuff!

The mote surrounding Bowser's castle then disapeered.

Mario: Didn't anyone find-a that a little odd-a?

Matt: Not really, Samus is hot.

With that the Smashers walked right through the front door. When they got inside they saw Bowser Jr. masturbating to the Sports Illustrates Swimsuit Edition.

Bowser Jr.: Uh... this is exactly what it looks like.

Matt: Uh, we won't tell you dad about this if you let us through.

Bowser Jr., stepping out of the way: You have a deal, if Birdo stays behind for me to fuck!

Matt, throwing the pink dinosaur back: What ev.

The Smashers then went into the other room to see Bowser talking on the phone.

Bowser, on the phone: I know! I can't believe how it ended either! He shot himself in the head when he found out she was pregnant! That fanfic rocked!

Matt cleared his throat.

Bowser: Uh... I gotta go, MB. They're here.

Bowser, hanging up: Welcome! Now for you to die!

Roy, drawing his sword: Never! You shall die!

Roy's sword was taken by a giant magnet.

Roy: Shit! Oh well! The pen is mightier the sword!

A Dry Bones suddenly appeared and chopped Roy's pen in half with his Big Fucking Sword!

Roy: AH! My pen!

A Thwomp then crushed Roy into a bloody pancake.

Bowser: Puny humans! I can anticipate your every move!

Matt: Really?

Matt then took out a pistol and shot Mooreluv2006 in the head, killing her instantly.

Matt: Didn't see that coming, did you?

Bowser, jaw dropped: WHAT THE FUCK? You just killed your own teammate! How does that help you at all!

Matt: I distracts you!

Bowser: But I'm no longer distracted?

Matt: Shit! Uh... Kahmahhahmaha!

Matt then did all the moves, but nothing came out.

Bowser, slapping his forehead: your not in the Dragonball Z universe, dipshit!

Matt: Uh...

Bowser then dropped dead and exploded into a bloody paste. Matt then sucked the past into a needle and injected it into his arm.

Matt: Thanks Jones.

Osmosis Jones: No prob.

Slippy: Now that Bowser's dead, nothing can go wrong!

The castle then blew up, sending all of the Smashers flying.

Smashers: SHUT THE FUCK UP, SLIPPY!


	25. Day 25

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Pat!

Matt awoke to being smashed against the gorund.

Matt, rubbing his head: Ow. Who the fuck did that?

Katara: Gravity, dipshit!

Matt then stuck a grenade up Katara's vagina, which exploded, splattering her everywhere.

Sokka: You killed my sister!

Aang: You basterd!

Matt, clapping his hands together: Let's see if this works!

Matt then slammed his hand on the ground which created a giant pillar of stone, smashing Aang and Sokka to bloody chunks.

Matt: Awesome! I can use Alchemy!

Zelda: That won't help us cross the mote to Ganondorf's castle!

Matt then noticed the giant castle behind him with Ganondorf's picture all over it.

Matt: What's your idea, if your so fucking smart?

Zelda: I do!

Zelda then went up to the water, slowly stuck her finger into it, and, using her immense power, turned it into funk! Everyone was then wearing 70's clothing and disco danced into the castle, where they fell into a cage.

Matt: It was a fucking trap!

Ganondorf, stepping out of the shadows: I was a fucking trap! Wait... you stole my line!

Matt: Come on, just say your diabolical plot then leave us alone to an easily escapable death trap.

Ganondorf: No!

He then reached into the cage and grabbed Zelda out o the CAGE O'DOOOOOOOMMMMM!

Zelda: I'll never give you the Triorce!

Ganondorf then shoved his entire arm up Zelda's pussy and pulled out the Triforce. Zelda then exploded into a mass of blood ad disembodied appendages.

Link & W.W. Link: NO!!

Link and W.W. Link then stabbed themselves in the stomach, killing themselves instantly.

Ganondorf, throwing the Triforce up in the air: Now Triforce, give me ultimate power!

The Triforce the glowed extremely bright and began to change.

Ganondorf: With this power, the world shall be mine!

The bright light then faded to reveal a banjo with the Triforce logo on it.

Ganondorf: ULTIMATE POWER!

He then picked up the banjo and started playing "Devil Went Down to Georgia".

Dr. Mario: Wait, isn't that song played on a fiddle?

Ganondorf: Silence mortal!

He then strummed the banjo, causing a giant wave of sound to come out of the banjo, killing Dr. Mario by slicing him in half, blood splurting out of both sides.

Matt: I think he's right, it is played on the fiddle.

Ganondorf: Shut up! I only know 2 songs!

Matt: What the other one?

Ganondorf, starting to play "Old McDonald": I just know this one!

Matt, satanic tone: Farm a had Donald Mc Old!

A giant Demonic Cow then appeared from a crater that suddenly opened from the ground and ate Ganondorf.

Smashers: Awesome! Now we get to go home!

Matt then walked over and grabbed the Banjo of Ultimate Power, which exploded sending all the Smashers flying.

Peach: Way to go, Matt! Now Me, Daisy, and Samus are only going to fuck you 3 times this trip!

Matt, snapping fingers: Oh man!

* * *

Banjo of Ultimate Power! Fuck yeah! Anyway, REVIEW or I will kill you and your family in 7 days! I like pie! Meeps! 


	26. Day 26

Matt here: That's right, Eggman has a castle! So shut the fuck up all ready! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off income tax! You suck!

Matt awoke to being fucked by three woman at once

Matt: What the hell? I thought you said I only got 3 times?

Smashettes: We couldn't wait that long! We needed your cock!

Matt, looking around: Where the fuck did we land?

Peach, through a mouthful of cock: Outside Dr. Eggman's castle!

Sonic: Whoa dudes, I think, like, Eggman doesn't, like, have a castle!

Matt: Shut the fuck up Sonic! It's my fucking story! Fucktard!

Sonic: Fine!

The Smashers then went up to the mote.

Daisy: How the fuck are we gonna get passed this?

Matt: I know! Shadow Clone Jutsu!

Matt then made elventy gabillion clones of himself! The clone army then swam across the the river, pressed the drawbridge button, the fused back into one body.

Peach, coming across on the drawbridge: What the was the point of that?

Matt, wacking Peach with the butt of a rifle: Shut the fuck up, bitch!

Peach, tears falling down here face: Do it again, master!

Matt, surprised: Who would have thought Peach was a masochist?

Matt the whipped Peach several times and called her a "bad girl that needed punishment", then went inside the castle to kill that faggy Dr. Eggman!

Dr. Eggman: Time for me to rape you up the ass!

Matt: WHAT?

Dr. Eggman, putting on a white hat and a single rhinestone glove: I'm really Michael Jacksom from the future! Jam on! Hoo-hoo! THRILLA! KILLA! Jam on, hoo-hoo!

Matt: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!...

Matt, the Author: Shut the fuck up before I get Carpal Tunnel Syndrom, and my hand will hurt!

Matt: Then what would you get Carpal Tunnel from?

Matt, the Author: I had some lesbian porn up while I wrote this.

Matt: I don't get it.

Peach then slapped Matt outside the head.

Peach: You're a fucking retard!

Matt, the Author: Anyway, I gotta write this all down so the story can proced.

Smashers and Eggman: Ok.

They all played Uno until Matt, the Author, bless the very crap he writes, notified him.

Matt, the Author: Ok, I'm all caught up! Continue!

Matt, pulling out a shotgun: Time to do what I should have done a long time ago, buy a condo in California, but first I'm gonna have kill and rob your ass for money!

Dr. Eggman: You'll never defeat me! Now for a long drawn out boss battle! Let the battle sequence be...

At that second Brogan burst through the wall and strait through Dr. Eggman, creating a giant bloody hole in his chest.

Brogan: Konichiwa! (Ya, she speaks Japanese, and I don't, so this is kind of akward)

Matt: What the fuck did I tell you? You get a part in my Yu-gi-oh fic and you leave my other stories alone!

Brogan: Yes master!

Matt: Know leave this multiverse, at once!

Brogan, now wearing a leaf headband: Interdemensional Transport Jutsu!

Brogan then disappeared in a sphere of flying leaves.

Matt, taking out a candy bar: No to eat!

Daisy, looking up: You have food!

Daisy then ran up to Matt, grabbed the bar, and shoved it down her throat.

Matt: Whoa! You just stole my Nutter Butter!

Daisy: Nutter Butter? But I'm allergic to peanuts!

Matt: Sucks to be you!

Matt then ran away from the swelling up Daisy, when Pat, in human form, appeared right next to her.

Pat: This is by far the best possible time for me to make my comeback!

Pat then noticed the ever-inflating (And not in that way, you sick perverts!) Daisy.

Pat: Fuck! Interdemensional Crab Claw!

Pat then held up a bronze crab claw with black writing on it, which summoned a giant metallic interdemensional travel capable crab.

Pat: FUCK! It's a vehicle Shen Gong Wu!

Daisy then exploded into a bloody paste because of her deadly peanut allergy, blowing up Pat with her. Matt then walked over to Pat's dead corpse and picked up his wallet.

Matt: That fucking shit! He stole my wallet!

Peach: No he didn't! You just threw that on the ground 2 seconds ago! It doesn't even have any blood on it!

Matt: Your gonna die bitch!

Matt then shoved a grenade down Mario's throat, which blew up, killing Mario and sending the rest of the Smashers flying.

Peach, crying: Mario's dead! How will I cope with this grief?

Matt, slyly: I have an idea...

Peach, stopping the flow of tears: Suck your cock?

Matt, hiding a bucket of Ben and Jerry's: Yeah, that's what I meant!

Peach then sucked Matt's cock as the Smashers flew through the air.

* * *

Ok, now that you've read the chapter, click that little square down there! It will call a hooker to your house to suck you off! What? Your a chick? Uh... it will call Ryan C-crest to fuck you, because everyone knows he likes chicks... HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAJAHAHHAHAHaHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHGAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH! I can't keep a strait face while saying that! Anyway, just REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!


	27. Day 27

Matt here: Sorry fo the long wait, but between school and Thanksgving, I haven't had much time to get to writing, so enjoy this chapter, or else! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off LL Cool J!

The Smashers were hurtling toward the ground at an alarming rate.

Jar-Jar Binx: We so gonna die!

Matt then sliced off Jar-Jar's head with his katana.

Matt: SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Peach, through a mouthful of cum: Uh, should we be worried about the ground?

Matt, taking out a pokeball: Nah, I got it covered. GO! PILE-O-BRICKS!

A pile of bricks with a face crudely drawn on in crayon on the highest on appeared from the pokeball and landed on the grassy ground below them.

Dr. Mario: You fucking retard! Now we're gonna crash into bricks!

Matt: SHIT! Uh...

All of the Smashers then slammed into the pile of bricks, blood, and guts, and vital organs splattered everywhere.

Matt, getting off buss: Good thing we sent those cardboard cutouts of ourselves here by grenade, instead of ourselves!

Peach: I know! Your such a genius! I wonder how you got so smart!

Matt, slapping her with a catus: Shut up and make me dinner, bitch!

Peach, rolling on the ground bleeding: OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Matt, over the cries of pain: Where the fuck are we?

Pikachu: Ain't it obvious? We in the Matrix!

Matt: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Wait, we're in Pokemon Stadium!

Pikachu: WHAT? Ah fuck.

Matt: What?

Pikachu: My trainers here.

At that moment Ash Ketchem came up to Matt and shook his hand violently.

Ash: HI! Wanna be my new friend?

Matt: Dude, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Ash: Why? Huh? Whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhhywhywhwywhywhwywhwywhwy?

Matt then kicked Ash in the nuts: THAT"S WHY!

Ash, rolling gon the ground holding his tiny 10-year old nutsack: GOD DAMN IT! OWWWW!

Matt, taking out a pistol: Time to silence you for good!

A giant orb of pure purple energy then hit Ash, disintegrating his body into nothing and creating a giant crater in the middle of the arena.

DK: I say, my good chap, you didn't have to be that hard on the old boy!

Matt, looking at his gun: But, I didn't do anything?

???, voice booming through the entire stadium: BECAUSE I DID IT!

The Smashers then looked to the voice and saw Mewtwo, but this one wasn't the same trapped in the closet Mewtwo that everyone knew and lov...uh feared to be anally raped in their sleep by, this was the true Mewtwo, the spawn of the Pokemon version of Satan himself!

Mewtwo: TIME TO DIE!

Matt, holding up his hand: Wait!

Mewtwo: WHAT?

Matt: We're in a stadium, so we need...

Mewtwo, slapping his head: Not those deucebags!

Adam Sesler: THANK GOD! THEY HAVEN'T FED US FOR DAYS! I"M COVERED IN MY OWN FECES FOR CHRIST SAKE!

Lemon:...

Adam Sesler: I would never eat you, lemon!

Lemon Demon: I WILL CONSUME YOU SOUL!

Adam Sesler: WHAT?

Lemon:...

Matt, wielding his katana: You heard the lemon!

Mewtwo: WHAT THE FUCK DID IT SAY?

Matt: Just fight, ya pussy!

Mewtwo: MEWTWO!

Mewtwo then made hundreds of clones of himself that bombarded Matt with millions of Shadow Balls.

Matt, while deflecting Mewtwo's balls with his sword: I should really be blocking those Shadow-ey orbs, too. I guess I'll have to use the ULTIMATE power!

Mewtwo, slapping their heads: OH GOD NO! YOUR NOT GONNA SAY LOVE, ARE YOU?

Matt: No, that's something gay that you would do! The true ULTIMATE power comes from dancing! SUPER FIST OF THE PUBIC HAIR: OVERLY VIOLENT DDR MATCH!

A DDR dance pad appeared from the ground, but was flashing "Insert Tokens".

Matt: Good thing I trained in the Shaman King universe! SPIRT POSSESSION!

A tiny whit orb floated down from the sky and then went into Matt's chest, causing his to suddenly be wearing a black leather jacket. Possessed Matt then elbowed the DDR pad and it started up. The orb then left Matt and floated up to the sky.

Matt: Thank you spirit!

Spirit: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Matt then selected the song "Safety Dance"

DDR Machine: We can dance all night if we wanou! We can leave our friends behind! 'Cause if your friends don't dance, and they really don't dance, then they ain't no friends of mine!

Matt hit all of the arrows, but then it switched to " YOUR FUCKED MODE!" and DDR arrows appeared all over the place. Matt hit every single on of them with his diamond cleats on, killing 700 kittens, 100000 Mewtwos, and Lemon.

Adam Sesler: NOOOO! LEMON! I CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT YOU!

Adam then shoved the spattered lemon up his ass, then shot himself in the head.

Matt, victory dancing: I win! I win! I win! Hahahahahahaha!

Smashers: Now we can FINALLY go home!

Suddenly, a tiny whit triangle appeared.

Dr. Mario: Who the fuck are you?

Triangle: I'm a plot device!

DK: What do you do, old bean?

Plot Device: I explode!

Smashers: FUCK!

The plot device exploded, sending the Smashers flying off to who the hell cares, yet again!

* * *

Anyway, Review or I'll kill your entire family to make shoes, which I will sell to fashion models in echchange for hot sex! I like pie! Meeps!


	28. Day 28

Matt here: Just enjoy and review! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off China, get over your tiny-penised selves! 

Matt awoke to hitting a magically flying platform.

Matt, rubbing his head: Where the fuck are we?

Master Hand: You couldn't just stay at the mansion and fight, could you?

Matt: What the fuck are you talking about, Master Hand?

Master Hand: We're really a giant illegal tournament that uses the dead contestants bodies' organs to fund are cocain circuit, ... and we sell the footage of the fights to PBS.

Matt, angry: YOU FUCKING BASTERDS! PBS sucks!

Master Hand: Know that you know that, I can't let you live! GO MY PET! DESTROY THE NON-BELIEVERS!

Suddenly, a giant satanic version of Bowser jumped on to that platform and let out a bloodcurdling scream.

???, high pitched voices: Ohmygod! Thatbiglizardthingneedsahug! Let'sgivehimeone! Becausewe're... HUG PATROL!

The two "teenage" girls then jumped up and hugged the giant lizard o' doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom!

Giga Bowser, glowing: No! Too... much... hyperactive ... LOVE!

Giga Bowser then exploded into a rainbow of multi-colored blood.

Kelly: Oui!

Kaddy: Yes! We helped another person... uh... lizard-thing through our hugs!

Matt: What the fuck are you talking about? You fucking killed him!

Kaddy: Someone sure is grumpy! You know what that means...

Kelly: ... Embrasser la Patriuille?

Kaddy: Hug Patrol!

Matt: SHIT!

The two teenagers charged at him, arms open, and at the last second, Matt stepped swiftly to the right, causing them both to smash into a giant invisible brick wall.

Matt, starring at the motionless bodies: Ya,... you might want to get someone to lean these up, they look dead.

Kelly, getting up: No, we're okay... I CAN SPEAK AUSTRAILIAN AGAIN!

Kaddy, getting up real fast, knocking Kelly down: WHAT?

Kelly: Je parle austrailian! Je parle... je ne parle pas austrailian.

Kaddy: Oh well, want some cocain?

Kelly, surprised: Pourqui?

Kaddy: I mean... uh... sugar.

Kelly: Oui!

Matt, holding a machine gun, wearing a mobster hat: Time to die bitches! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Matt then unloaded 10 clips into both of their bodies, splattering them up against the wall.

Matt: That takes are of that!

Kaddy, peeling herself off the wall: Ow! That hurt!

Kelly: Il est mechant!

Matt, taking out a chainsaw: Oh, I'll show you mechant!

Matt then chased after the two girls, swinging his chainsaw.

Kelly: Le AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (So not french!)

Master Hand: We can not allow this to continue! I'm calling Mother!

Peach, in a body cast: Haha! Momma's boy... hand... thing!

Master Hand: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?

Peach: Matt was a little rough on the way over here, see he plunged his cock into my ear, then he shoved a cactus up my ass, while...

Master Hand, vomiting, don't ask me how he would vomit being a glove and all: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Master Hand then took out a cell phone a pressed the speed dial. At that very second a giant insect-y thing fell out of a time hole that magically appeared above Master Hand.

Insect-y Thing: What do YOU want Master Hand?

Master Hand: Giga Bowser is dead! We need to combine our powers, Mother Brain!

Matt, wearing a sombrero: El Gasp-o!

Mother Brain: Fine! We'll use you fucking retarded dead lizard's body!

Master Hand: Yes, Mother! ALL HANDS ON FINAL DESTIONATION!

Suddenly, Master Hand had Mother Hand, Mutated Hand, and Master Shoe surrounding him.

Master Hand: Combine!

Master Hand and Mother Hand then slide dead Giga Bowser's arms up their glove asses, while Mutated Hand and Master Shoe shoved his feet into their blowholes.

Matt: THE HORROR! GIGA BOWSER IS GOING TO PREFORM A BROADWAY MUSICAL! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Mother Brain, sitting on top of dead Giga Bowser's head: You simpletons! We are going to fuse our powers together to become...

The mass of their bodies began to glow completely yellow as it shank to normal human size, grew a fro, and put on sunglasses.

???, glaring evilly: EVIL BOBOBO-BO BO-BOBO!

Matt, noticing that it looks exactly the same as the real BoBoBo-bo Bo-BoBo: What's so evil about... OH MY GOD HE HAS A GOATEE!

Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo: Bwhahahahaha! You shall die by the hand of our EVIL Fist of the Nose Hair!

Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo shot out two long stands of nose hair, which Matt easily caught.

Matt, eyes blazing: NO ONE! Insults my hero! Super Fist of the Blonde Hair: Fonzie Dance!

Matt was now suddenly wearing a black leather jacket with a really cool hair cut.

Matt, gun-pointing his fingers: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Matt then took out his comb and then brushed his hair with it.

Matt: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo: What the fuck is he doing?

Matt then snapped his fingers, causing a giant crowd of fan girls to rush over to his side, trampling Evil BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo to death. Suddenly, the real BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo appeared.

BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo, wearing a trenchcoat: Ya done real good, kid. Yay, real good!

BoBoBo-Bo Bo-BoBo then disappeared in a cocoon of nose hair. Suddenly, Frank, Matt the Author's, bless the very crap he writes, lawyer.

Frank: WHAT THE FUCK? This whole story is just one copyright infringement suit after another! Just fucking come up with your own damn stuff!

Matt: Shut up Frank!

Matt then took out the Sword of the Storm, as seen in Xaolin Showdown, and prepared to strike.

Frank: That's copyright...ed...(Sound of penis ripping off.)

Matt had slammed his sword right through Franks gut, killing him instantly.

Peach, fully healed: We're finally done! We can go home?

Kaddy: What? We have no place to go. :(

Kelly: Aucune foire ! Comment se fait-il que vous obteniez un visage frowny ?

Kaddy: Magic! I need some sugar after all that physic defying! I WISH WE COULD GO HOME WITH SOMEBODY? (Obviously implying something.)

Matt, sighing: Come on.

Kelly: Yay!

The two girls ran over to the group of Smashers.

Matt, pulling out a grenade: Time to go home!

Matt then threw it out the ground, sending the Smashers flying back to the mansion.

Kelly: Pourquoi juste n'avons-nous pas pris l'autobus ?

Matt, slapping his head: Fuck

* * *

REVIEW! I like pie! Meeps!  



	29. Day 29

Matt here: Finally! This fic is over! Now I can focus on my Digimon and Yu-gi-oh GX fics! I like pie! Meeps!

* * *

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this fanfic, so fuck off Switzerland! Pick a side already!

Matt awoke to crashing on the front lawn of a giant mansion in The Middle of Fucking Nowhere.

Matt, eyes widening: Fuck ya!

Matt then ran into the building a noticed the giant TVs, the gourmet kitchen, the bowling alleys, the diamond studded urinals, and best of all, THE POOL!

Matt, no wearing a black pair of swim trunks with bleeding skulls on them: POOL PAR-TAY!

All of the Smashers, no in swim trunks or bikinis, except for Falco who, being German, wore a Speedo, but being a bird, he had no cock, so nothing showed, jumped into the pool.

Matt, noticing Sasuke (sorry fangirls, no Speedo on him.), Luigi, and Bowser: What the fuck? I thought you guys died?

Sasuke, Luigi, and Bowser: Fuck!

All three exploded, dying the pool a dark red. The three then came back to life almost instantly.

Matt: What the fuck?

Sasuke: Hey loser, we're video game characters in this universe, so we have a stock of lives saved up.

Matt, now covered in their blood: So... does the blood also disappear?

Sasuke: No! That'd just be retarded!

Matt, still covered: I have to go take a looooooooooooooooooooooooooong hot shower now.

Matt then ran out of the Blood Pool and was on his way to the Men's Locker Room when he crashed into Dr. Nick.

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!

Matt, taking out a hatchet: That's it time to die! Wait a second...

Matt then took out a Wii controller and hit the a button a few times and was back in his normal black trenchcoat, wielding his Keyblade of Darkness. Dr. Nick the shit himself with enough force to propel himself into the attic. Matt used a teleportation jutsu to follow.

Matt, clanking bottles on his fingers: Dr. Nick! Come out to play-ay!

Dr. Nick: Hi everybody! ... SHIT!

Matt then grabbed Dr. Nick slit his throat with his Keyblade, then tossed him out the window into the Blood Pool. Matt was about to leave when he noticed a chained up chest with a warning sign on it.

Matt, reading the sign: Warning: This box contains Pokevirus! Keep out of the hands of ALL living creatures!

Matt, using his Keyblade to pick the lock: Fuck that! No box tells me what to do!

Matt then opened the box, causing a cloud of green dust to fly out and go strait into Matt's lungs. He looked around after it happened and noticed nothing had happened.

Matt: What a jyp! This isn't how it happened in Pat's story at all! I'm going to the game room!

Matt then took the bus down the hall, over the bridge above the indoor water park, through the shopping mall, and to the outside of the game room. As Matt entered, he noticed Ray and Darth Vader playing DDR.

Darth Vader: I'll teach you to steal my family's chickens!

Ray: Ya right!

Matt, sneaking up behind them: HI GUYS!

At that moment, a cloud of the green dust exited his mouth and zoomed into the mouths of Ray and Darth Vader who had gasped at the sudden intrusion of their DDR match to the death. The two then glowed green as the grew horns, fangs, and tails. The two then slammed through the wall to go terrorize a little child's birthday party.

Matt, shocked at what had just occurred : That green dust... would make excellent pie seasoning!

Matt then coughed op some of the green dust into a sugar shaker and ran off to the kitchen to prepare for the day's big "Super Smash Person (Damn Political Correctness!) Annual Pie Baking/ Eating Competition"!

(5 hours later)

Matt, wearing a Chef's hat in front of a mountain of green-crusted pies: Let the eating begin!

All of the Smashers just sat back and watched Matt scarf down every last pie on the table, afraid that Matt had made Diarrhea Pies again, like he had a week ago. That sucked. Matt had finished the pies and was resting on top of the table when he started to glow green.

WW. Link: OH NO! Matt's turning evil...er...est...ter...er!

The light soon faded and he looked down at himself.

Matt: WHAT? I'm exactly the same! That bites... oh well... POOL PARTY!

Katara: Isn't the pool all bloody?

Kelly: Oui ! Elle a raison ! Je conviens…. l'OH qui suis moi badinant, personne ne peuvent me comprendre ! Je souhaite baiser Katara et ses mésanges énormes toute la nuit longtemps ! Dans une orgie lesbienne géante avec Hinata et Sakura ! Avec les vibrateurs bordés doulble et everthing ! Ce serait si chaud ! Je suis une lesbienne, et personne ne connaîtront parce que personne ici ne parle assez français pour comprendre toute la ceci!

Matt, stopping her: Uh, I just understood everything you just said, and it was soooooooooooo hot! (Come on people, just look for key words and you'll get the basic picture.)

Kelly: ... Sacrebleu!

Matt: Anyway, Katara, the pool is clean! I hired Speedy Gonzalez to clean it up.

A tiny whirlwind then spun up to Matt.

Speedy Gonzalez, taking his pay: Eh holmes, this is an obvious Mexican stereotype!

Matt: No it isn't! It's a stereotype against mice!

Speedy Gonzalez: That don't make no sen...

He was silenced because Matt had shot him through the head with a pistol, killing him instantly.

Matt: POOL PAR-TAY!

Everyone was back in there swim wear and partying in the pool.

Matt, stomach growling: I'm hungry! Hey! A Bar-B-Q rib cart!

Matt then went over to the cart and ate his fill of ribs, leaving a thick coating of Bar-B-Q sauce on his hands.

Naruto, wearing and orange pair of swim trunks with the Leaf Village symbol on them: HEY MATT!

Matt then turned around too fast and slipped on a bar of soap labeled "Plot Device", causing him to crash into Naruto, smearing BBQ sauce all over his curse seal.

Naruto, glowing with red chakra: OH NO! BBQ SAUCE! MY ONLY WEAKNESS!... BESIDES BULLETS, FIRE, KNIVES, ACID, AND OTHER LETHAL THINGS!

Naruto's body then exploded, releasing the Kyubi in the pool.

Kyubi: Foolish mortal! Now I am free!

Matt, taking out a pokeball: Not for long mother fucker!

Matt threw the pokeball at the Kyubi, catching it instantly, but the ball happened to hit a pool toy, and bounce into Matt's mouth and down into his stomach.

Matt, as the Kyubi was released inside of him: Ah fuck!

Matt then transformed into 9-tailed Matt, and took out his Fox Fire Keyblade, and started to slaughter the other Smasher and destroy the mansion.

Matt, blade going through Kelly's colon: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Suddenly, Sean Conery appeared out of nowhere.

Sean Conery: If you haven't guessed by now, this is a Highlander paro...OH GOD! MY LEGS! THE PAIN! TTHHEE PPAAIINN!

Matt had just destroyed the last of the mansion and slaughter the last of the Smashers, plus Sean Conery, when his cell phone rang.

Matt's Phone: I'm turning Japanese! I think I'm turning Japanese! I really think so!

Matt, picking up: Yo, what do you want now?

???: Our scanners sow your done in that universe, so your next assignment is the 3rd Rock From the Sun universe.

Matt: Oh fuck no! The Order is not making me go there! That show sucked hard Ton-ton (Those kangaroo things from Star Wars.) ass! I'm taking my weeks vacation NOW!

Matt then hung up, coughed up the Kyubi's pokeball, pocketed it, then bent himself a hole back to his place for a whole week of playing the Gamecube!

THE END!

* * *

Anyway, So, Review, because, well, the more reviews I get, the more I get motivated to write, and the more I write, the closer I get to writing a sequel to "If I were a Pokemon Trainer", So click that button now, and do it again for every chapter you didn't review on! I'm counting on you! I like pie! Meeps!


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